Like me, you probably hate Christmas.
Shopping, cooking, praying, eating dry turkey, dodging bums dressed as Santa in front of every JC Penny - clanging clanging clanging on that goddamn brass brass bell!!
And then the social pressures... The family obligations... Sometimes it can feel like you're being pulled into a thousand tiny pieces.
Well, this next item on the auction block can spare you precious time, and make you a star among the distant relatives.
The next item comes from my very-clever sister-in-law, all the way out there in Boise, Idaho..
The winning bid will receive her Christmas letter writing service. Just provide her with a few family photos and the highlights of the year, and she will ratchet together a spectacular newsletter-style Family Christmas Letter for you to shoot off to Auntie Louise and Uncle Feodore...
All you have to do is slap a stamp on it!
Think of the time you'll save!
Think of the relatives you'll impress!
Bid NOW for this unique holiday service!
(This auction ends Monday at 11:00 PM (PST)
Bid now, send Obama to the White House!
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I'll open the bid on this Auction at $5.000!
ReplyDelete$10
ReplyDelete$25....I need this.
ReplyDeleteWow! We have a winner. Thanks to MARGE for her generous bid, and to AUNTIE BSU for a fabulous donation!
ReplyDeleteNow you just need to give Auntie BSU and I each other's contact info, and who the hell do I send the check to? You? That's kinda scary!
ReplyDeleteI'll be waiting to hear from Brian so we can get this started....
ReplyDeleteMe too....where on earth are you today Mr. G&T?
ReplyDelete