Monday, October 20, 2008

Nice Glass

Glass, it seems, makes me horny.

Long glass. Fat glass. Short glass. Fast glass. I like to hold it, weighing its heft. Judging its length. Testing its speed.

I like to slowly swab it, daubing it, cleaning slowly with fluid and wipes. Circling smoothly with dry compound cleaners and soft bristle brushes.

I gingerly care for my glass, covering it, capping it, stowing securely with straps, buckles and zippers.

I like to hear about other people's glass. I like them to tell me about their desire for spotting scopes, digiscopes, telescopes and binoculars.

I like to hear about other people's un-filtered fish-eyes and crop-factored telephotos. Size, they say, doesn't really matter, but really, it all depends on what you need it for. Sometimes, a job requires a small one, no longer than my finger. Sometimes, it requires a heavy one, as long as my leg.

Groups and elements of glass, ground and polished to imperceptible tolerances, ashpyrical, concave and convex, meniscal and planar; infinite combinations to correct aberration as the lens drinks-in the available illumination.

Some suck more greedily than others, lapping at the light, slurping it down. Swallowing. Magnifying. Focusing. Diffracting.

But, glass is just glass.

Though, I suppose you could say that about anything. Regardless, it flips my Pavlovian switch like few things can. Or maybe it's Freud's switch. Hard to say, really. Doesn't really matter. I just cannot get enough of that fast fat watery glass.

So, tell me about your glass. I'd love to hear.


  1. Baccarat crystal really is nice. I have several uncut decanters.

    A proper tumbler is hard to beat.

    But you have always known my glass is better than yours.

  2. They make several butt plugs out of glass but I'm sure that you already knew that.

  3. Dale chihuly11:29 AM

    I like to blow glass!

  4. Some of inog's cheap glasses have a cut on the inside, all at the same height from the bottom.

    The nice stuff gets washed in a towel-lined sink, rings removed. The good stuff calls for turning the stones around and hoping they don't scratch. And yes, cheap booze tastes better in a great glass.

  5. b.s totally stole my joke. Hi! :)

  6. brian's butt4:05 PM

    He is totally aware of that b.s.

  7. Sarah Palin4:59 PM

    I'm a maverick!

  8. This has nothing to do with your blog, but go to the link and click on the door about three times or so . . .


Be compelling.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.