Monday, June 30, 2008

Dear Holy Baby Bobblehead Jesus

Bobblehead Jesus

My Prayer:

Dear sweet plastic bobble headed baby Jesus,
please hear this, my prayer of humble supplication.

Thank you for the many bountiful blessings, like butterflies, big milky breasts and race cars with guns.

Please, please Jesus, allow me to finally complete the post that I started two days ago regarding the fancy candle and the bar of soap.

Do, please give me 1,000 hits in one day on this your loyal and faithful blog, even if it means 999 hits on a picture of Dita's itchy brown eye.

Please bring peace and joy to my family.

Please give me my own strip club, something cool, sweet bobbling baby Jesus, like Union Jacks.

Oh, and tiger. A big one.

And a machine gun.

Oh yes, oh Lord, and please kill George Lucas.

oh, and Dick Cheney too...

Please forgive me of my sins, dear Lord, although I have excuses for most of them. And I'm serious about the George Lucas thing.

Amen.

8 comments:

  1. I have a Bobblehead Darth Vadar on my Facebook profile.

    I pray to him

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous6:32 AM

    Dear Faithful follower,
    Lucas has been dead for years-he's a Zombie- you're on your own...try fire.
    I'll work on the rest- as for Union Jacks- back off it's my only place I can really unwind-

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous7:44 AM

    What happened to my legs? No prayers are answered until someone returns my legs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous10:09 AM

    I can buy your sorry ass soul. Maybe what the world needs is one less lawyer. That is my prayer for today.

    May the force be with you...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10:14 AM

    Religion leads to fear. Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

    ...better off praying to me, you are...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous1:42 PM

    Listen kid, the sooner that you realize that you are insignificant the better. The princess is mine.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The tiger would be pretty cool in the strip club...
    You wouldn't really need a bouncer.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous2:33 PM

    You forgot to pray that you never get me.

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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