Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Stripperpalooza

Congratulations and thanks to all of the high school photo contributors. Sorry for the mass humiliation. It's been an odd couple of weeks here at the Lounge, what with my intentional content sabotage, juvenile photo submission exhibition, and the impending Stripperpalooza!

I think, next week, after Dr. B returns to his wife in the southland, things will get back to normal.

For now, however, All thoughts, plans and energy are focused entirely upon the first annual Stripperpalooza Tour!

Having consulted with a fair number of advisers, I have reached the conclusion that noon to midnight is just simply too much pussy for anyone to handle, even the dastardly deviant Mr. G&T and his elfin dentist buddy. And so, in order to form a more-perfect stripper tour, I have devised the seriously redesigned tour schedule.

And here it is:

6:00 - Join us for our inaugural excursion to Casa Diablo. The World's first all-vegan strip club, where they put the meat on the pole, not on your plate. I have briefly scouted the venue, and I am optimistic. Spacious, clean and comfortable, I'm hoping the Saturday evening line up is sexier than the Wednesday afternoon crew...

7:30 - Dinner at Marrakesh. Sit on pillows and eat with your fingers as sexy belly dancers swirl around your table. A sexy feast fit for a king. We need to make reservations. You know you want to come, but I need to know now.

9:00 - Union Jacks. Tattoos, black hair, fishnets. This is the most "Portland" of Portland strip clubs. Fear the women and their wicked pole skills. Tip generously or they WILL kick your ass.

10:00-ish - Safari Club (Formerly Docs). This was once Tom's and my home away from home. One of the nicest clubs in town, the performers tend to be friendly and the drinks keep coming. Buy a gold fish for a buck and feed one of the piranhas.

11:30 - If we're still sober enough, we'll end the evening at the View Point.

We have a vibrant and growing group. But, folks on the fence need to pull the trigger and commit. There is really no reason not to come.

Inog, Mrs inog and Ryan, it's a short drive. You can sleep on my floor if you need to.

JB, I don't buy your excuse.

Our Seattle Friends: really, you can sleep on my floor next to Inog.

Mitch, you know where Oregon is...

Dave, well, OK, you're in New York, and Familytrain, yes, Pittsburg is a long way away.

Oosje and the BSU's, you know, I've never gone strip clubbing with you before, and the tots would like to see you.

OK. really, It's RSVP time. I'll be making calls in the morning.

22 comments:

  1. Nothing on the itinerary for: "Jiggles;" "The Main Event;" or "Prime Country." Heck, "The Dolphin (I & II)," "The Acropolis," etc

    Oh, so many on that list... so little time...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jiggles is a juice bar, the Main Event is a Jack-in-the-Box, Prime country is a empty dirt lot I think.

    The Acrop women are fat.

    I agree about the dolphins, but really, they are just too far off the parade route.

    C'mon, you know you want to come...

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  3. Oh, and Tom, isn't there a map store you could stock up here?

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  4. I have a wedding to go to this weekend or else I would have loved to join in on the fun. I could have had Bill take pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I will sulk and go watch some sheep cavorting in the fields instead

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  6. Oosje6:26 AM

    I would love to be there and even be the designated driver, so you all could go crazy, however I am going to miss this huge event. Perhaps it is the first of an "annual" event and I could plan my life around being there next year. Have a great time!
    p.s. I'm truly surprised that you cut it short. Truly? You couldn't go for 12 hours???

    ReplyDelete
  7. auntie bsu6:42 AM

    It does sound like fun and I would love to bring the tot to see the tots but it's golf tournament week for Mr. Eleven and so our focus is on that. Thanks for the invite.

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  8. other7:18 AM

    "noon to midnight is just simply too much pussy for anyone to handle"

    Nah, you guys are just getting old. You would have had the endurance a decade ago.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The shit you find when you google.

    Pussy? By looking at those photos of you boys not sure you would know where to find it. But since the ATM in the back of our club only spits out 20's I'll point you in the basic direction.

    Drunk Amateurs- my favorite flavor-
    see you soon

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mitch...Jiggles? Seriously, they don't even have alcohol there.

    I do agree though we should hit at least one of the Dolphins....

    ReplyDelete
  11. the panty10:01 AM

    Can I sleep on the floor next to Inog, too?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ok Ok Ok...
    I confess, I haven't lived in Oregon for 10 years!

    By all means, I defer to the greater familiarity and depth of experience that the "locals" have.

    But, you just can't go wrong in a city with the highest per capita strip club distribution in the US.

    ReplyDelete
  13. road made of stones10:59 AM

    Did you hear how Obama is going to heal the sick, give jobs to the unemployed, and heal our planet?

    Wow, Illinois must be a magical heaven-like place.

    Kind of like New york.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Drunken amateurs.....

    thats funny

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  15. No, this one's just fucked in her ...

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  16. drunken amatuer2:21 PM

    well, she's right about the drunken part

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  17. Stars2:32 PM

    What about me?

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  18. Poor Raven. She isn't fucked in the head, just dumb. Check out her blog for confirmation. She stole her About Me comment from a bumper sticker and probably still thinks she's clever.

    ReplyDelete
  19. And, Dr. B, she comments about you on her blog:

    I jumped into this guy's blog by mistake and posted some comment - and one of the fuckers was like "are all strippers fucked in the head?"

    Thank you, Raven, for proving his comment is true.

    ReplyDelete
  20. And thank you Dr. B now Raven abd her crew are going to be on the lookout for us before we even get there. I don't predict too many lap dances from her for you....

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  21. Raven9:39 PM

    Ouch. Did I hurt your ego? Oh so sorry. Guess you boys can't play in my world so you'll just have to visit and go home...

    Don't forget to buy a tshirt before you leave-not that you got balls to wear it in front of your neighbors or nothin but you can use it as a nightshirt, sweetpea

    ReplyDelete
  22. Can't we all just get along and enjoy the stripperpalooza?

    Raven--you do realize those photos were from highschool that was the point of the blog, dorky photos. And I'm fairly certain these boys would have the balls to wear whatever your t-shirt may be.

    Anyhow, can't wait to see your show, you seem sassy. Are you gonna let us know which club to look for you at?

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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