Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Suggestion Redux

Have I told this story before? I mean there have been something like 700 posts on this silly thing, and sometimes I lose track...

Stop me if you've heard this before.

I was late for my flight. Security was pre-9/11 style, but still fairly time consuming. With my one carry-on swinging from my shoulder, I raced and dodged the meandering terminal crowd.

Then, SHE caught up with me, walking in my direction, zigging when I zigged, zagging when I zagged. She was plain, but not unattractive. She wore a plain shimmering jade dress with a head scarf. She looked religious, but not pious. Not eastern, but not really western either.

Her voice was sing-song with an ethereal lilt. If there is another spiritual plane, she had been there. Perhaps she was from there... Who knows?

She carried in her hand a three-ring binder, and as we walked, she proceeded to flip the glossy pages, passing by bright colorful pictures of happy flowers, white children, blue sky, funky Jesus, maybe Ganesha the elephant goddess, an African plane, loaves of bread, and a stack of money. As she closed the book and put away her little wordless story, she asked, unobtrusively and without eye contact, whether I would like to donate a dollar, which I fluidly, and without hesitation, produced and handed to her.

In a moment, she was gone, vanished into the dense traveling crowd. Gone with my dollar. Another moment later, I realized I had been bamboozled. Hypnotized. A victim of simple suggestion. I never learned who she was, who she was with, or what she intended to do with my dollar. Rather, I hurried on to catch my plane.

It is nothing new, however. Like Pavlov's dog, I am an outright sucker for suggestion. I have been known to actually stand up out of my chair, put on my shoes and drive to Carl's Jr, just because of that stupid sauce-all-over-your-face commercial. Goddamn do I love the Western Bacon Cheeseburger...

And so it was tonight. Chatting with a friend this afternoon, I learned that she had eaten hot pizza with cold cheap beer for lunch. The mere sound of such a thing, just hours before dinner, made my mouth water (DING!) .

Dinner tonight, therefore, was not hard to figure out.


  1. You're an advertiser's wet dream.

  2. It must be those chemicals in the brain that go to the pleasure center.

    Kinda like a gin and tonic

  3. That's crazy... I mean if I was to type: Strippers and Scotch; Strippers and Scotch; Strippers and Scotch...
    Its not like you'd log out and stop by a bar on your lunch hour....

  4. Don't temp him. Union Jacks is calling...

  5. Mitch, I think you just gave Mr. G&T his location for lunch today

  6. Mary's club11:16 AM

    I am but four short blocks from Mr G&T's office

  7. or we could all comment our lunch plans and confuse him with the choice. Or dinner in my case

  8. We'll just confuse him too much. He'll be running all over the place for lunch/dinner today, trying to fill all the suggestions....

  9. I could say that I had In-n-out burger for lunch yesterday. But that would be mean because there aren't any in Portland. Too bad

  10. arggghhh

    Two Double Doubles with grilled onion, no tomoato and a large Ice Tea

    I hate you.

    Did I mention that Dr. B took it in the ass from my dog this weekend?

  11. I hate you too Dr. B, I love in-n-out, it's a must stop everytime we're in California. Now that's what I want for lunch and there are none near!

  12. I had an in-n-out about an hour after I hit LA.first thing I had eaten in 17 hours bar airplane food.
    It was yummy

    and i have to say - Poor Strider...

  13. In n' Out... yummmmm... and just to show how susceptible I also am to the power of suggestion when it comes to food, I think I know where I'm going for lunch today :-9

  14. In-n-out manager11:50 AM

    Oh great, Helly's coming.

    Everyone hide!

  15. Mr. Helly11:56 AM

    In 'n' Out?

    Sounds good to me.

    But what are we gonna eat?

  16. Strider12:00 PM

    I wish Dr. B would come back for some more in-n-out... woof!

  17. I wish Dr. B would send me some wisdom teeth so I could do a little in-n-out with them.


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