I have never had the hots for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
Yes, I know this comes as a shock to many of you. After all, I have an unhealthy fascination with Emma Watson; I own the European version of The Professional; and I have an obvious obsession with the younger and pudgier Christina Ricci.Alas, my boat never floated on the Olsen deluge. Sure, there were many men counting the days until their 18th birthday. Entire websites centered around the Olsen countdown clock. Television comedians cracked-wise with anticipation. Headlines heralded the coming of the age of majority.
And then, on June 13, 2004, the day came, and quickly went. The twins were adults, ready to legally fulfill the most wanton requests of their adoring middle-aged fans. Unfortunately, the rather-tragic irony was, no one wanted them. Straddled with a childhood of stardom and celebrity, and perched like hood ornaments atop a billion-dollar entertainment empire, the frail, sickly little waifs had aged 50 years in the span of a mere 18.
The fantasy is dead, and all that is left are a few headlines about Mary-Kate's eating disorder and likely early demise. (Well, sure, that and a billion dollars...) Hmmm... I suppose all of those countdown clocks could be converted to tracking Mary-Kates spiral into oblivion.I guess it's also time to replace Macaulay Culkin with Mary-Kate at the top of my Death Watch list...
Im going to completely stay away from this topic.... I do have to say, however, that the american version of "the professional" with Natalie Portman is also very good.
ReplyDeleteI agree with leah, your first paragraph didnt need to be there.
ReplyDeleteI looked up "depravity" in the dictionary and there was your picture.
...And there was a dick in your ear...
ReplyDeletebut the question remains: "who's dick?"
ReplyDeleteVice-President of the greatest country in the world, sonny.
ReplyDeletedamn grammar...
ReplyDeleteI like you all was never on the Olsen bandwagon. Nor have I been fixated on Christina Ricci, or even Thora Birch - although I dod admire their disproportionately large boobies.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I have to admit that I did used to check out a website tracking Anna Kournikova's countdown to legality....ahh, sweet sixteen...
Brian...I don't keep up on this shit: What's the story with Mac culkin? Queer, or just a doper/drunk like most the young, Helly-weird dick-sheaths?
ReplyDelete"Helly-wierd dick sheaths"
ReplyDeleteFunny, that describes several women that I dated...
BTW, I have now posted photos of a drunken Emily Watson on my blog. Have at, sport.
ReplyDelete