Thursday, March 16, 2006

A Friend in Need

Folks here in the Lounge are nothing, if not helpful. In times of crisis, my loyal loungers can be counted on to aid the less-fortunate.

Well, this is not one of those time. Certainly, there is no crisis. There is no emergency. There is only a half-baked self-imposed obligation to find for my friend, a new middle name.

It's not that she doesn't like her old one. No, she simply doesn't have one. I'm not sure what the whole story is, but it seems she was born in some heathen land where girls are not given names, and then she was raised by a wild herd of alpaca, or somesuch...

Anyway, she goes by the name Helly. I'm not sure whether that's a real name, or perhaps a part of a real name. Hard to say. She's vaguely Asian, and looks to be only about 14 years old. Although, she claims to be much older...

Now, she has publicly posted that her last name is Kwee, but seriously, how can that be an actual name? Nevertheless, it is up to us, Helly's fellow loungers, to find this girl a middle moniker. I have already suggested "Boom Boom," but that was met with resistance.

So, people, any thoughts??


  1. even worse than the green.

    Happy St. Patrick's Day

  2. Brian smith8:05 AM

    Why am I not surprised that you have a "friend" who's asian and 14. I thought of one....are you my Daddy?

  3. Im still going with helly "freak" kwee

  4. Anonymous10:21 AM


  5. "Vaguely" Asian!? Why "vaguely"?

    And what the heck is wrong with "Kwee"!?

    Bastard :-P

    To Brian S: I'll have you know that my husband is Brian R's age, so your suggestion... umm... No.

  6. just trying to help11:34 AM

    How about McGillicutty?

  7. Helly "OnWheels" Kwee? or Helly "InBed" Kwee?

  8. I think it should be either a greek name like Demosthenes or Xenophon, or a simple noun like Toaster or Device.

    Helly Device Kwee works.

    I think it works in many ways.

  9. A new name? Why don't you try improving her taste in music and film first. Country? Hitch? Jesus H.

  10. Oh, and I'd go with Jim.

  11. Brian S.10:53 PM

    Sorry Helly, No offense! I'm still having difficulty accepting the fact that people close to my age are even on myspace. To think that Brian would be on that site for anything but perversion just doesnt compute. Approach him with extreme caution. Hey, How about
    Helly Vaguely Kwee.

  12. Brian, search your feelings, give in to the dark side

  13. britt7:02 AM

    How about Helly "best man with knife or gun" Kwee.

  14. a reader losing patience7:04 AM

    When I take a good long pee in the morning after a hard night of drinking, the bubbles in the back of the toilet remind me of the background of this blog.

    When I take that giant dark beer crap the morning after a hard night of drinking, well, that reminds me of the writing on this blog of late.

  15. Tom
    I am actively working on Helly's taste in music and film - it is a work in progress.....

  16. some other anonymous7:32 PM

    I think Helly Kelly Kwee would be cute. Or Helly Welly Kwee. Say it fast enough and it sounds like soliloquy.


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