Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I See Dots

I am color blind.

This does not mean that I cannot see colors. It simply means that certain tones of red and green get a little confused. I have green pants that I think are brown, and I often identify certain blues as purple. This would explain a few of my more unfortunate clothing choices

There are tests for this. For instance, I understand that there are numbers in the following discs. I cannot see the numbers, however, I only see spots. If you see numbers, you are normal. If you see only random spots, you're probably fucked, just like me.

This is, obviously, only one of my many medical maladies, and certainly not the most interesting. I only bring it up because, well, I need your help.

No, I'm not going to ask for monetary assistance to help cure Colorblindness.

No, I need help with something a much more relevant to all of you. See, I have no idea what color my blog is. At home, it appears a bit orange, but at work it looks a little green.

So please, someone, what color is my blog?


  1. Karma will not shine brightly on those who mock the infirm...


  2. Yes, but I am a dick who can distinguish red from green. Wheeee! Christmas is soooo much more fun for me! Wheeeeee!

  3. Right, for me, it's more like the warm varying degrees of Christmas gray, which are different that the pastel grays of Easter...

  4. Oooooh! Such the delightful shades of color in this bag of M&M's!

  5. So basically, Christmas really does look like It's a Wonderful Life for you. Marvy. Don't mind me while I go enjoy these lovely lipstick-red tubinols...mmmm.

  6. "Sir, didn't you see the red light light?"

    "No officer, it looked green to me..."

  7. Are you two actually humping while you pat back and forth? Or do you do that between "rounds."?

    And for the record -

    Top one - a kitty cat
    Middle - a doggie
    Bottom - A bird in a hat with a knife holding something that looks like a cabbage.

    Your blog is "banal." I looked it up on the pantone chart.

  8. Brian Smith8:26 AM

    I would be so sad if I couldn't see the color of blood ozing from my patient's open wounds. Although green blood might look kinda cool.
    Kinda like when you squish a tomato worm.

  9. Anonymous3:41 PM

    Its the color of snot. I just blew my nose to check.

  10. For the love of god, what is the color of my blog?

  11. All I see is a tree attacking a tank....I wonder why that is?

  12. Brian Smith8:01 AM

    I see the devil is that bad?

  13. Are you going to protest and not give us a new blog until we tell you what color your blog is??

  14. my mother is in town. my blog posting will be sketchy for the next couple of days.

  15. Why don't you have your mom do some blog entries?

  16. Dumbass. What would be the point of telling you the color of your blog if you can't associate the name with an actual color?!?! Dumbass. It's an olive green. But that doesn't tell you jack shit because you don't know what olive green actually looks like.

    And yes, I'm still pregnant. And on bedrest now, so I'll have lots more time to post pregnancy updates for everyone here to enjoy.

  17. Coat Hangers R Us1:42 PM

    It is never too late to fix that

  18. Leah,
    We're all pregnancy-blind. You can write all the pregnancy updates you want, but sadly, they are invisible to us. They just blend into the background of the page...

  19. Anonymous3:53 PM

    It's a sad pale shade of sage green. It's not cute. Pick a background that you yourself can associate correctly. It's not that difficult. And by the way, Leah, you're pregnant. OK. We're all over it, even if you can't be because you're living with it every moment of the day. It's not sexy nor cute, and people won't like you anymore because of your pregnant status. In fact, it seems fairly clear that the information has overstayed its welcome in this blog.

  20. Yikes, someone has a sack of thumb tacks up their ass...

  21. Planned Parenthood4:03 PM

    We can help end those pregnancy complications . . .

  22. prayer_request.com4:18 PM

    Dear Jesus:

    Please take Leah home to be with you. Thanks.


  23. george w bush4:27 PM

    I strongly oppose abortions, but I'll make an exception for Leah.

  24. Osma Bin Laden4:32 PM

    Death to all Satanic Yankee Infidels!

    Oh, and I support Leah.

  25. jimmy hoffa4:45 PM

    I'm pretending to be dead so I don't have to hear about Leah's pregnancy.

  26. Marlee Matlin4:51 PM

    Ha Ha!

    I don't have to listen to Leah.


  27. ray charles7:53 PM

    I don't have to read Leah's comments.


Be compelling.

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