The Cowboy

It's not often that I get to take a nap, but this afternoon the opportunity presented itself. Slipping quickly into REM, bypassing all of those other pesky stages of sleep, I found myself at sea in a storm of dreams.

Nap-time seems to always brew the best and most vivid pageants, replays of my subconscious mind's whims and worries. It's patchy now, but I was at school, ten-years late for a class, with a paper due and a test to take. I was naked, of course, and unable to find my once-familiar locker, but the school became a lake, and I was floating on an innertube, rigged in seaman-like fashion with a sail and a rudder. The lake, it seems was only a ride within the run-down Tijuana Disneyland-like theme park. An enjoyable ride, apparently, since I kept getting back in line.

All was not fun though, as the Cylons began their invasion, and I had to escape the park. Fortunately, I was able to open a door, and find myself safely in my grandmother's house. Funny how doors work in dreams... Anyway, as I explored my grandmother's surprisingly vast home, I found myself lying in a brightly lit white room with dark-blue shag carpet The room had no furniture, but there was a smaller connected ante-room, also white with blue carpet. In the ante-room sat my grandmother, mother, and sister around the only piece of furniture in the place, a rickety brown wood dining room table. They seemed to be playing cards. The room felt hot. And then, I woke up.

Pretty convoluted stuff, and that's only the parts that I remember. Left me feeling more tired than I did before the nap, and there was simply too much to make any sense of. Perhaps I'm insane. I fear I'm in need of therapy. I'm really fucked up, right?

Well, tonight after dinner, I finally got around to seeing David Lynch's Mulholland Drive for the first time. (Thanks Netflix!) And perhaps, I'm not nearly as crazy as I fear. I mean, holy christ, David Lynch is a goddamn lunatic.

I can not rightly say that I have NO CLUE what the movie was about, because I do, in fact, have a clue, but that's ALL I have. It's just sort of a vague suggestion of some meaning behind what it might be sort of getting at. But like my delirious dreams, I cannot actually grasp any substance. OK, so, Betty is Diane, and Rita is "The Girl," and the blue box contains the truth, and the ugly man behind Denny's is what? The devil? The evil in the hearts of men (or women)? And good god, who the hell is the Cowboy? He was part of the fantasy, but shows up in reality? Or was any of it reality? And was all of the hot lesbian sex just a metaphor for masturbation?

Really, I should watch it again, but I can't. So maybe one of my smart friends can help me out with this one. Anyone? Anyone?