Thursday, February 09, 2006

What's in a Name

Usul, we have wormsign, the likes of which even God has never seen...


I'm a sucker.

I own a perfectly acceptable copy of Dune on DVD, the David Lynch theatrical release. It's uneven, but mostly-inspired.

Then I hear that they finally released the geekishly-anticipated extended edition with many of the editing hacks restored for the first time. Predictably, I grabbed a copy as soon as I could, and watched a few of the restored scenes tonight.

I've read the book and watched the movie dozens of times, so I just sat basking in the flawed glory of Lynch's vision. Then, slowly, it hit me. In all great fantasy fiction, if you have multiple monikers, you're probably a bad ass.

Case in point: Paul Atreides, Heir (then Duke) of House Atreides, Usul, Paul Muad'Dib, Kwisatz Haderach, the Preacher, Lisan al-Gaib, Mahdi, and Padishah Emperor...

Of course there's also Aragorn of LOTR fame: Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Isuldur's heir, Elessar, Estel, Envinyatar, Telcontar, Strider, Wingfoot, Longshanks, (The) Dunedan, Thorongil, King of Gondor, Chieftain of the Dunedain, King of the Reunited Kingdom.

Both Paul and Aragorn are monumental bad asses. I, of course, would also like to be a monumental bad ass. Therefore, from now on, I'd like to be known as the following: Brian, Master of the gas flame, Keeper of the good scotch, Father of the monkey, Tipper of the Strippers, the bain of religion, and Lord of the Blog.

Thank you for your support.


  1. Brian Smith11:42 AM

    You make the guys on the show "Beauty and the Geek" look like frat boys. Although Im not much to talk. I just got an original Dark Tower board game off of ebay.

  2. How do you suppose you'll get all that on your business card or driver's license...?

    An acronym, perhaps? Or a nickname. You can be all those things... but known to his friends as "Ginger."

  3. That would be complicated since Ginger is also Tom's wife.

    ...and Brian Smith, how many legos do you own? Just wondering.

  4. Brian Smith3:26 PM

    Ahh yes LEGOS.....the toy of choice for social misfits and Trophy heads

  5. You really make yourself sound cooler than reality with those name choices.I'd like to suggest Ass Clown, Butt Pony and and Clay Aiken.

  6. The Ginger thing does make sense though...since I often call her Brian...but usually only when we make love.

  7. OK, It's time to confess, I really am Ginger. I'm brian too, but in the clothes, THE CLOTHES, I am Ginger. When I said I did Tom's wedding a couple years ago, what I meant was, I joined with Tom in the only way two hermaphroditic men can. And now, I walk around with a pillow under my shirt and say that I am carrying his child. I AM Ginger, Damnit! I Am!

  8. Yes, Brian is Ginger. I'm Mary Anne. Tom is the Skipper and Dr. Brian is everyone's little buddy. We have outfits.

  9. Brian Smith9:14 AM

    Oh good lord I havent been that skinny since high school. I do occasioally dress up like a sailor though.

  10. I am going to smack you all on the head with my hat...

  11. That's code for gay sex, btw.

  12. Ah now Boys - and here I thought I was the sexually frustrated one.......


Be compelling.

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