Oops, She Did it Too...

Wreckless-driving soon-to-be-single-mother Britney Spears just simply refuses to stay out of the headlines. The queen of the tractor pull and white-trash wunderkind, Britney (and her dumb-as-Bush husband), having produced nothing but another celebri-brat in the last several years, have resorted to the "any publicity is good publicity" strategy to remain famous for having once been famous. Break-ups, baby-endangering, Mardi Gras parades, BB gun shoot outs... Just stop, please, I feel sad and embarrassed for you.

But what really sticks in my craw (yes, I have a craw, three craws, in fact...) is the constant replay of the Kiss. THE KISS. You know what kiss I'm talking about. Madonna's lip-smack of approval, the passing of the saliva torch.

Problem is, Madonna never really stepped down. She's still voguing her sad saggy wrinkled mom-ass all over the globe, in spandex no less. She is still under the illusion that she is relevant.

However, what really cheeses me about the long-past-its-prime ubiquitous replay of the tongue wrestling, is the constant and blatant disregard for the third leg in that act. Madonna kissed Christina Aguilera too, but we never hear about that, do we? No, it's always that whore, Britney.

Well, I, for one, demand justice. That is why I have established a new fund-raising foundation: "The Madonna Kissed Christina Too Memorial Trust." It is our goal to raise enough money by 2022 to erect a memorial of the Christina Kiss on the National Mall in Washington DC. So, please, won't you join us in this noble cause?