Saturday, September 20, 2008

This Is the End

Well, not exactly...

Or, at least, not yet.

See, there's been a little mishap. A snaffu, if you will.

Remember the Large Hadron Collider thingy we talked about last week? The one that may destroy the planet? Well, see, it's broken. A bunch of magnets got gummed up earlier today, overheated and nearly caught fire.

So, the good news is that the apocalypse-risking experiments will be delayed for at least a week from their scheduled date, pushing the END back to about Halloween.

The bad news is, IT'S FUCKING BROKEN!!! It's SOOO broken that MAGNETS nearly caught fire!!

Now, apart from my children, I don't find much in this craptastic world worth saving. However, on the other hand, it would have to really suck to get slurped into a tiny quantum singularity.

So, maybe they'll just scrap the whole thing altogether. Not likely though, they paid a lot of money for those flame retardant magnets.


  1. Yes, save your children so that they can work until 105 trying to pay off the bail out of Fannie and AIG.

    I love when us tax payers get used like an ATM. We are so fucked.

  2. Ron Paul7:31 AM

    I hate to say I told you so...

  3. Why isn't anyone trying to stop this experiement?

    Surely there is some lawyer in Europe and some one else in Europe that would love for the planet not to implode upon itself.

  4. There was a funny case in Hawaii seeking to stop the LHC. It was almost comical.

    As far as risk, trust me there is none. Micro-singularities are not stable. They are formed all the time and never cause any damage, evaporating almost instantaneously. There are probably millions in our sun at any one moment.

    In my opinion the LHC is one of the best investments humanity has made. We need this. We need it to work. We need the few questions it will answer to be answered. More importantly we need the many questions it will create.

    People love to bitch about theoretical science, but they also love their microwave ovens, ipods, LCD screens and cool pills.

    Why don’t you just try and understand it better by reading something beyond People Magazine.

    You know I am smarter than you. I think it is a brilliant piece of work. Trust me on this.

  5. I confess. I shut that fucker down. I'm the one who will usher in the end of the world and I couldn't let you fools steal my thunder.

  6. I wonder what Satan would have to say about this...

  7. Anonymous4:13 PM

    What do you care, b.s.? It's not like you're voting this year.

  8. Anonymous4:58 PM

    Blah blah blah blah blah. . .


Be compelling.

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