Neanderthal

Way back.

WAY WAY back.

Something went wrong. A party split up. Two groups, likely small, went two different ways. Then, time and distance, the wonder-twins of evolution, took their toll and had their way with them.

One group was short and slow, but strong, slope-browed and dim witted. They lived in small tribes in fair climates. They had to kill what they wanted for dinner, often without tools or even language.

These are the Neanderthals, and their record ends 28,000 years ago.

The other group, for whatever reasons, developed intellect, skill, cunning, reason and imagination. They were taller, faster, smarter and more flexible as a species.

These were the Sapiens. Us. Well, early us, but us nonetheless.

About 200,000 years ago, give or take, as the theory goes, we Sapiens moved out of Africa. And inevitably, we ran in to our uglier dumber cousins. Then, about 28,000 years ago, the Neanderthal record dies out.

And that is exactly what scientists have long thought happened to them. Died out, that is. But more recently, other theories have come along. One says that Sapiens moved in and effectively conquered the brutes. Another says that we may have over-competed and thus consumed all of their resources.

Still, another suggests that the two groups, though not genetically identical were somehow able to merge. Effectively stating that early man had a hankering for neanderthal pussy.

Which would really mean one thing, we are not only Sapiens, we are Neanderthals too. Some of us more than others...

And of course, this came up for me on the way back from Idaho last week. Stopping for gas and snacks, pissing at a rest stop or letting the tots run amok at the McDonalds playland, I had the opportunity to behold the people. The populace. The neighbors.

I observed the people who will be setting the course for the next four years. These were the shirtless cowboys in pickup trucks, the fat loudmouths, the dirty shirted shoppers. These were the shotgun wielders, the big belt-buckled buffoons and the toothless. These were people who complained about the lack of mayonnaise at Mc Donalds. These were the folks who bear a striking family resemblance to their spouses.

These were country music fans, rodeo clowns and Walmart patrons. These were church goers, although church likely meant tuning into the Jesus-channel sometime on Sunday after the bad-beer hangover from Saturday ended.

And it worried me somewhat, realizing what was out there and recognizing just how many there were. But now, I seem to see it in a whole new light. Neanderthals. Of course! It all makes so much more sense. There is Neanderthal blood in the Sapien line, and perhaps it is just more pronounced in some than others.