Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Palin-Palooza

So much to get to tonight. So much to cram in. First we must hit all of the Palin goody.

Then, I have a special guest post to post.

So, let's just get to it.

First up, the big news.

Palin's daughter is pregnant. Or is she?? Here, check out this video and decide for yourself.



I guess the extension of the theory is that Bristol was the mother of Trig. Then, Sarah claimed the baby was her own. Then, when the conspiracy gets blown, the family fakes a 5-month pregnancy based on left-over baby weight to cover up the cover up?

Um, Ok, I know what you're thinking. But really, my point is this, McCain made a bad call. Maybe the worst possible call. Either that, or his team was sloppy in the background check, which is, in fact, even worse.

And then, there's the alleged baby's daddy, Levi Johnston. He is 18 and described himself on his Myspace page as a "Fuckin Redneck." He also declared that he "did not want kids," which runs contrary to the happy tale told by the slowly-sinking governor that the wayward kids are getting married.

Not surprisingly, the Myspace page got yanked by the end of the day.

Nice.

And here is a picture of the happy parents. The girl on the left is Bristol, the daughter of the Republican nominee for Vice President of the United States. The gentleman on the right is the aforementioned "fuckin redneck" father.


Which is, of course, reminiscent of other certain presidential offspring.


Oh, and, here are just a few tidbits lifted from the wonderful Wonkette blog:

Bum husband Todd Palin was arrested for drunken driving in 1986.

Sarah Palin has hired a lawyer because this “Troopergate” thing is getting serious.
McCain’s people didn’t ask anybody in Alaska about the Palins.

The FBI says no background check was done on Sarah Palin.

Through her friends Ted Stevens and Don Young, Palin got $27 million in federal earmarks for her tiny suburb of 6,700 people. McCain, of course, is 100% against federal earmarks.

Everybody back in Palin’s hometown knew her teen-aged daughter was knocked up, and knew the Baby Daddy was 18-year-old self-described “fuckin’ redneck” Levi Johnston.


And yet, McCain selected her as his running mate.

And I suppose, I should stop for just a minute here to clarify two things. First, Senator Obama has made it very clear that candidate's families should be off limits. I respect that request. Pregnancies happen. Bristol Palin is not the villain here, and I do not want to suggest otherwise.

Second, while I want to revel in the ridiculous light-weightedness of Palin's resume, I do not want to ridicule or demean her for her gender.

(Which is hard when the Palin family, themselves, release photos like THIS to the Associated Press...)

Therefore, I will thank all of you who have sent the many fabulous photo-shopped photos of the governor is various states of bikinis and undress, but that's not where I want to go with this.

Where I DO want to go, however, is here:


That is a picture of Governor Palin and one of her children next to the bloody caribou carcass that they gleefully slaughtered for sport.

As a gun owner, and a supporter of 2nd Amendment rights, I've always held that guns are meant to kill people, not animals.

Apart from the sheer horror, which images like this (from the LA Times)will cast upon the average sensible soccer mom, who Palin was chosen to appeal to, it also conjures up strong images of another neanderthal-like arch-conservative, gun-wielding Vice President son-of-a-bitch...


The point, I suppose, after all of this is, WHAT THE FUCK WAS MCCAIN THINKING???

Is this anyway to run a national presidential campaign?? Is this the from-the-hip decision making style we can expect from him?? Does anyone on his staff have any access to the Internet??

If he didn't know these things, then there was a serious lapse in the data-gathering and decision making process.

Worse, though, if he did know these things, which he claims he did, then there was a complete and absolute breakdown in logic.

One heart beat away, my friends...

(Special thanks to Dave, Fred and Michelle for their help and submissions)

6 comments:

  1. As a rabid Obama supporter, A simple "Thanks John" would have made the point.

    Be happy for once...you just won the election.

    My prediction is that Palin drops out and Romney gets the nod. Either way results are the same.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe we'll get really lucky this campaign season when Palin goes on a little hunting vacation with her new GOP buddies and shoots Cheney in the face.

    ReplyDelete
  3. still pissed the fuck off8:33 AM

    1. The baby is Sarah's. Whether she or Bristol bore it, she chose to take the role of mother one way or the other, and her disregard for his needs is still the error in judgment I'm most concerned about. Although, I will be fair that he'd probably get better medical access in DC than Juneau.

    2. You're welcome, b.s., although your predictions are both wrong. She can't drop out. GOP is stuck with her. Admitting an error is the worst course of action. But, I predict that her oldest son dies in Iraq just before the election, wiping out the scandal and giving them a huge sympathy boost, which I fear greatly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. he looks less like a "Fuckn Redneck" and more like a "Fuckn Wigger"

    I came across these song lyrics, and felt they were appropriate:

    Man fuck that shit man
    Fuck that, what?
    Man whats up with this bitch?
    She better come suck my dick or sumthin
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me
    Its Paulie baby Paulie with nipple lickin love
    Sportin cowboy boots and a florescent glove
    I lasso you up and then I jump on your back
    I, I, I needs no saddle I just sit on my nut sac
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me
    Its Stretch Nuts up to bat
    And I finna get this hoe
    Bottle still spinnin and my sack about to blow
    Up in my pencil
    Chickie chick stop the frontin
    Lets skip the game and get on the humpin
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me
    Its me Jamie Madrox
    And Play-doh is green
    I tap, and touch, and tickle
    Till you melt like ice cream
    I know you want my body
    Fat kids are so sexy
    Take off all your clothes
    Come over here and get next to me biatch
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me
    Its Violent J baby
    The wizard of the streets
    Sportin your panties
    Just to show you Im a freak
    I slide in your bed for a cotton surprise
    And you got clown make-up smeared
    On your inner thighs
    Give it to me
    Give it to me (Man who the bottle pointin on?)
    Give it to me
    Give it to me
    Give it to me (Somebody better suck my dick in this muthafucka)
    Give it to me
    Give it to me (I aint playin no more)
    Give it to me
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me
    They call me the plumber cause I snake your drain
    But buttermilk love nugget that be the name
    I swings to the left
    Cause Im swift with my meat
    And I tickle twist your nippy nipples off with ease (Damn)
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me
    Spin number 2
    And my chances lookin good
    Already hit one neden
    Now Im goin for her friend
    It dont make a difference I really dont care
    Besides all the shit as long as she got neden hair
    Give it to me
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me
    Bang, bang, bang
    No I aint trippin
    He fucked so wack now my things a dip
    But quicker than I bat my eyes
    She replied
    I could get better traction if I hit from the side
    Now baby, baby
    Bitch, bitch
    Let me get some neden
    Try to leave this nut stain on your Mamas bed
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me
    Its me again J
    I would love to turn you out
    But I, I think Ill pass
    Cause your shit is blew out
    J, j, just hold the shit together
    Or sumthin baby yo
    Or maybe you could let me holla
    At your booty hole, cmon
    Give it to me
    Give it to me (Man you gonna suck Violent Js dick)
    Give it to me
    Give it to me
    Give it to me (Lick Shaggys balls)
    Give it to me
    Give it to me (Fuck Monoxide)
    Give it to me
    Give it to me (And you cant even touch my butt)
    Whos going next?
    Im dying to see (Bitch Ill choke your ass)
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me (Muthafucka, how many times the bottle gotta land on me?)
    Whos going next? (I aint gettin no love in this muthafucka)
    Im dying to see
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me (Hey look, look touch my butt)
    Whos going next? (Touch my butt right now)
    Im dying to see (Ima pull my butt out)
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me (You better touch my shit)
    Whos going next? (I know where you live, touch my butt)
    Im dying to see (Touch my ass right now)
    Spin the bottle baby and give it to me (Touch me, touch my ass)
    Whos going next? (Girl you better touch my ass)

    ReplyDelete
  5. John McCain9:53 AM

    I plan to use that as my closing song after my big speech on Thursday

    ReplyDelete
  6. Van Halen, Jackson Browne, and friends4:20 PM

    Don't forget to ask permission

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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