Palin-Palooza

So much to get to tonight. So much to cram in. First we must hit all of the Palin goody.

Then, I have a special guest post to post.

So, let's just get to it.

First up, the big news.

Palin's daughter is pregnant. Or is she?? Here, check out this video and decide for yourself.



I guess the extension of the theory is that Bristol was the mother of Trig. Then, Sarah claimed the baby was her own. Then, when the conspiracy gets blown, the family fakes a 5-month pregnancy based on left-over baby weight to cover up the cover up?

Um, Ok, I know what you're thinking. But really, my point is this, McCain made a bad call. Maybe the worst possible call. Either that, or his team was sloppy in the background check, which is, in fact, even worse.

And then, there's the alleged baby's daddy, Levi Johnston. He is 18 and described himself on his Myspace page as a "Fuckin Redneck." He also declared that he "did not want kids," which runs contrary to the happy tale told by the slowly-sinking governor that the wayward kids are getting married.

Not surprisingly, the Myspace page got yanked by the end of the day.

Nice.

And here is a picture of the happy parents. The girl on the left is Bristol, the daughter of the Republican nominee for Vice President of the United States. The gentleman on the right is the aforementioned "fuckin redneck" father.


Which is, of course, reminiscent of other certain presidential offspring.


Oh, and, here are just a few tidbits lifted from the wonderful Wonkette blog:

Bum husband Todd Palin was arrested for drunken driving in 1986.

Sarah Palin has hired a lawyer because this “Troopergate” thing is getting serious.
McCain’s people didn’t ask anybody in Alaska about the Palins.

The FBI says no background check was done on Sarah Palin.

Through her friends Ted Stevens and Don Young, Palin got $27 million in federal earmarks for her tiny suburb of 6,700 people. McCain, of course, is 100% against federal earmarks.

Everybody back in Palin’s hometown knew her teen-aged daughter was knocked up, and knew the Baby Daddy was 18-year-old self-described “fuckin’ redneck” Levi Johnston.

And yet, McCain selected her as his running mate.

And I suppose, I should stop for just a minute here to clarify two things. First, Senator Obama has made it very clear that candidate's families should be off limits. I respect that request. Pregnancies happen. Bristol Palin is not the villain here, and I do not want to suggest otherwise.

Second, while I want to revel in the ridiculous light-weightedness of Palin's resume, I do not want to ridicule or demean her for her gender.

(Which is hard when the Palin family, themselves, release photos like THIS to the Associated Press...)

Therefore, I will thank all of you who have sent the many fabulous photo-shopped photos of the governor is various states of bikinis and undress, but that's not where I want to go with this.

Where I DO want to go, however, is here:


That is a picture of Governor Palin and one of her children next to the bloody caribou carcass that they gleefully slaughtered for sport.

As a gun owner, and a supporter of 2nd Amendment rights, I've always held that guns are meant to kill people, not animals.

Apart from the sheer horror, which images like this (from the LA Times)will cast upon the average sensible soccer mom, who Palin was chosen to appeal to, it also conjures up strong images of another neanderthal-like arch-conservative, gun-wielding Vice President son-of-a-bitch...


The point, I suppose, after all of this is, WHAT THE FUCK WAS MCCAIN THINKING???

Is this anyway to run a national presidential campaign?? Is this the from-the-hip decision making style we can expect from him?? Does anyone on his staff have any access to the Internet??

If he didn't know these things, then there was a serious lapse in the data-gathering and decision making process.

Worse, though, if he did know these things, which he claims he did, then there was a complete and absolute breakdown in logic.

One heart beat away, my friends...

(Special thanks to Dave, Fred and Michelle for their help and submissions)