Gin and Tonic Big Tent Revival

I often tinker with the idea of starting my own religion.

I fundamentally believe that if you give people relatively easy-to-understand answers which are, in some way, tied to emotional reflexes, they will believe ANYTHING you tell them. Most people have questions, and want answers, but they are academically lazy. They will actually appreciate someone else doing the thinking for them, telling them how things are, what the rules are, making the universe make sense.

Emotional manipulation accounts for a lot: politics, religion, marketing, patriotism, war, art, entertainment, car dealerships, everything really. I try to resist it. I keep a vigil watch out for it, but I know that I succumb. A simple trip to the grocery store can be a manipulation overload. (Oh god, the mandarin oranges...)

I try to at least be aware of who it is is that is manipulating me. So, who's manipulating you? What do you do (or not do) because of guilt? Because of fear? Because of greed? Because of pride? Because of love? Because of hunger? Because of anger? Because of insecurity??

Who's doing the thinking for you? Why do you trust them? Should you really trust them? Really??

So, anyway, I think about employing my own manipulation at times. I figure a little cold reading mixed in with some pop-psychology and Eastern-sounding philosobabble ought to do the trick. I'll set unattainable goals for my followers. I'll make them fear the unknown. I'll make them dependent on me for the Answers. I'll shame them against looking elsewhere, or questioning my truth. I'll reward them for their dependence upon me.

And in the end, if I'm successful, I will have legions of followers who will joyfully send me their money, and pictures of their (or their wife's) boobs. Amen.

hmmm.. I think I still have some mandarin oranges in the pantry...