Sunday, November 27, 2005

Because I Care

The Lounge is nothing, if not about Giving. So folks, it is my deepest desire to give back to the community.

Many of our Lounge guests say to me, "Brian, I just don't know whether I fit in. I feel so inadequate, so maladjusted." Friends, I feel your pain.

So, by popular demand, and out of the goodness of my heart, I am bringing back the Gin-and-Tonic Lounge Breast Evaluation. I will sacrifice my time and provide this service only because I care. As your virtual bartender and friend, I will accept your email-submitted boob pics, and will post my my semi-anonymous review in the comments section below.

As this is a family-oriented blog, no actual boob pics will be posted. Those will be kept safe and secure in my personal photo files at home... Only the evaluation report will be posted. Note, your fun-bags will be evaluated on the following bases: size, shape, perkiness, hairiness, and nipple placement.

You can email your pictures to me HERE

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:32 AM

    I recall the first time you did this at the Heater. I can't recall who won. I recall several rounds of "squeeze offs."

    I think the point is not whether they win or lose, but that everyone plays and has a good time.

    Mainly that everyone plays.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous12:56 PM

    Does the picture have to be of your own boobs?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Carl is right. All good things come from the Heater.

    And no, they don't necessarily need to be your own boobs, but it would be most beneficial to you if they were.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, alright, our first email submission is from J. Wow, great size, but then again size isn't everything...

    Size 9/10
    Shape 6/10
    Perkiness 4/10
    Hariness 10/10
    Nipples 6/10

    ReplyDelete
  5. Is 10 the best? Does a 10 in hariness mean no hair or Sasquatch?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good question form Abestis. With regard to the hariness rating, 10=baby's bottom, 1=need's wax.

    ReplyDelete
  7. We're on a roll. The next submission comes from S. OK. Perky. Very perky... Jesus, you're gonna put an eye out...

    Size 4/10
    Shape 8/10
    Perkiness 10/10
    Hariness 10/10
    Nipples 7/10

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks to C. for playing our little game. Let's just say that this will be a split decision.

    Left:
    Size 8/10
    Shape 6/10
    Perkiness 5/10
    Hariness 8/10
    Nipples 7/10

    Right:
    Size 6/10
    Shape 7/10
    Perkiness 6/10
    Hariness 8/10
    Nipples 6/10

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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