Thursday, December 11, 2008

White Anticipation

We are sooooo not ready.

I am out of scotch. We are down to one Netflix DVD, and I don't own any chains for my tires.

The forecast calls for snow this weekend, and I just haven't gotten my rations together.

If I were Noah, I'd have a couple of gerbils balanced on a skiff, and I'd be rapidly looking for a floatation device.

If I were a boyscout, they would kick me out.

If I were the admiral in charge of Pearl Harbor, I'd be hung over from too much Sake, and sleeping in...

Unprepared.

What I do have is one unused evil toboggan. I also have some tequila, whiskey, margarita mix and bottles of bad wine. We have hot cocoa. We have a snow dog. We have snow boots, a gun, a warm hat, and unfettered Internet service.

Still though, if I am left to fend from the pantry for five days, I'm fucked.

So, snow is coming, I have been warned. Perhaps I will have time to hit Costco before the blizzard. Perhaps I will put it off.

I cannot put off the liquor store though. That's a priority.

8 comments:

  1. It doesn't snow in California....and we have plenty of liquior.

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  2. hey! I would have thought you'd have dedicated some space here to the passing of Bettie Page! What kind of a slob are you?

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  3. He has gone from thinking of his testicles to only about killing the liver. Well buddy, what about your friends? I mean we really dont care if you get snowed in and have to eat your children as long as there are some pictures of smut once in a while.

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  4. I have to admit though when I first read the title to this I thought it was going to be an Editorial on the migration of the white man into Oregon.

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  5. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. We're set. Pantry's stocked, firewood is cut and stacked....my only task is the liquor store. I may just do that on my lunch hour today, I mean what if the snow starts now?

    But seriously who are we kidding? They've forecasted snow in Oregon, that means it's not gonna happen.

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  6. Bettie Page10:28 AM

    I had pointy nipples

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  7. Van Johnson3:53 PM

    So did I.

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  8. i am flying in from Hawaii for the snow. fuck this sun. gimmie some oregon clouds and rain!

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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