Thursday, December 11, 2008

White Anticipation

We are sooooo not ready.

I am out of scotch. We are down to one Netflix DVD, and I don't own any chains for my tires.

The forecast calls for snow this weekend, and I just haven't gotten my rations together.

If I were Noah, I'd have a couple of gerbils balanced on a skiff, and I'd be rapidly looking for a floatation device.

If I were a boyscout, they would kick me out.

If I were the admiral in charge of Pearl Harbor, I'd be hung over from too much Sake, and sleeping in...


What I do have is one unused evil toboggan. I also have some tequila, whiskey, margarita mix and bottles of bad wine. We have hot cocoa. We have a snow dog. We have snow boots, a gun, a warm hat, and unfettered Internet service.

Still though, if I am left to fend from the pantry for five days, I'm fucked.

So, snow is coming, I have been warned. Perhaps I will have time to hit Costco before the blizzard. Perhaps I will put it off.

I cannot put off the liquor store though. That's a priority.


  1. It doesn't snow in California....and we have plenty of liquior.

  2. hey! I would have thought you'd have dedicated some space here to the passing of Bettie Page! What kind of a slob are you?

  3. He has gone from thinking of his testicles to only about killing the liver. Well buddy, what about your friends? I mean we really dont care if you get snowed in and have to eat your children as long as there are some pictures of smut once in a while.

  4. I have to admit though when I first read the title to this I thought it was going to be an Editorial on the migration of the white man into Oregon.

  5. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. We're set. Pantry's stocked, firewood is cut and only task is the liquor store. I may just do that on my lunch hour today, I mean what if the snow starts now?

    But seriously who are we kidding? They've forecasted snow in Oregon, that means it's not gonna happen.

  6. Bettie Page10:28 AM

    I had pointy nipples

  7. Van Johnson3:53 PM

    So did I.

  8. i am flying in from Hawaii for the snow. fuck this sun. gimmie some oregon clouds and rain!


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