Monday, December 08, 2008

Douchebag

I'm no Gandhi.

But at the same time, I'm no Hitler either.

I'm generally an OK guy. I stop for pedestrians. I let old ladies have my seat on the train. I usually try to recycle. I'm a good dad.

But for some reason, last week, there was a random and somewhat coincidental spike in the collective number of references to me being a "Douchebag."

"Douchebag"

"Douche"

"Douchey"

Six of one, half dozen the other. All the same thing.

Now, I don't usually get my feelings hurt very easily. Especially from name calling. But the sudden repeated occurrence of the epithet in different places and at different times caused me pause.

Am I truly douchey? (that is a rhetorical question)

Maybe.

Could I have altered my behavior to prevent the hurling of the word?

In certain cases, yes, and in some, no.

Ultimately, do I care?

No, not significantly.

Still, though, taking it as an omen, I will watch my steps in the days to come, and do what I can to avoid further douchery.

17 comments:

  1. Maybe you should stop ordering vinegar and water at the bar and go back to the G and T.

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  2. douchebag

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  3. Have you heard the old adage "Sticks and Stones May Break my Bones but Words Will Never Hurt Me"? The girl in the past week has come home each day upset because someone has teased her about her silly last name or her red hair, so I taught her this and Friday she used it, shocked the whole kindergarten class (including her teacher I believe), and it worked. No one bothered her rest of the day. Maybe you should try it.

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  4. Oh, and you are a douchebag...just sayin....

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  5. oh i forgot to say...douche

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  6. "douchebag" gets thrown around a bit too liberally these days, I'm afraid. Unless you did something patently "douchey", I'll wager that day in, day out you're more of a "fuckin' asshole" or a "jag-off" than a "douchebag".

    People miss the subtleties sometimes, especially here in Philly. Quite often, I am referred to as a "fuckin' fagget" when, clearly, I am more a "pussy", "dickweed", or "shit-for-brains".

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  7. Anonymous1:46 PM

    It's because you have a mangina.

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  8. do you like my picture?

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  9. Brian3:15 PM

    "Hey everyone call me a douchebag!"

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  10. Everyone3:15 PM

    "Okay, douchebag!"

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  11. U Need Some Summers Eve!!

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  12. Thanks Familytrain, I think "jag-off ass hole" is what you're aiming for...

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  13. Anonymous10:38 AM

    I prefer referring to someone's conduct as "douche-baggery" or "ass-hattery." Though the efficient "douchey" also works. I think there is a difference between calling someone a douche and identifying particular conduct as douchey. We are all guilty of the latter.

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  14. fuck-tard

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  15. George5:52 PM

    You not fucking HUMAN!

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  16. Jackie5:54 PM

    George is Chinese. To be fair, he is not attacking your humanity, he is saying that your sexual proclivities do not involve the human race.

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Be compelling.

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