Monday, August 04, 2008

Guest Post #1

Well, we have a taker. This one is from Bill:


I bought myself a Super Hero Kit the other day. Yes, you read that right. The contents of the kit are as follows:


~ A Super identity-hiding mask (Red with black lightning bolts on either side)

~ A ’Special-Person’ sticker to proudly display on my super vehicle. (Though
I suspect that others may view that as short bus kind of special)

~ A celebratory horn for those after-lifesaving parties (Said parties for us
superhero types only)

~ A handsome superhero award (Suitable for framing)

~And a handy instruction booklet on becoming a super hero (Complete with
the super hero secret oath and several brain-boggling quizzes)

All that is left is to pick out a cool, superhero name. A name that at once strikes fear in the hearts of evildoers everywhere, yet inspires confidence and pride in everyday common folk. Something majestic. Something pure. The kind of name that Batman would wish he’d thought of first.

I have no special powers that I am aware of, and no super suit came with the kit.

Quickly donning a Winnie-the-Pooh kitchen towel as a cape, I leapt through the door and out into the chill night. My senses tingled as I sought out crime. To the left a dog barked, while overhead the moon crossed behind a cloud. Rounding a corner I came across certain wrongdoers, leaning beneath the hood of a car, assuredly fiddling with some sort of doo-dad for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc.

“Stop, Fiends!” I cried with my best superhero voice. Without hesitation, I slammed the hood down upon them and leapt back, prepared for battle.

“What’s the matter with you?” My neighbor The Nefarious Steve exclaimed. “Who are you supposed to be in that get-up?”

I adjusted my identity-hiding mask and repositioned my kitchen towel cape. Thinking swiftly I said, “I am Pooh Man”

Their gale force laughter filled the night as I went back to my not-so-secret house and packed my superhero kit away safely. I will live to fight another day, but not in my own neighborhood, not where people know me.

17 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:04 PM

    Nice job. How long have you been a homo?

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...and now the fun begins...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am not even going to read the blog. I just thought I would comment on ho nice Paris is this tim of year.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lucky Red7:09 AM

    Mais No! Paris in November...est parfait!

    Pooh-Man: we don't have enough super heros in the world...rock the fuck on...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oosje7:27 AM

    Good job Pooh-Man! Just ignore Inog. Paris has made him illiterate.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bill has winnie the pooh kitchen towels? Somehow I find that the oddest part of this post.

    Secondly though, who is Bill? Does Bill regularly read the blog? Does he comment?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'd love Winnie the Pooh kitchen towels

    Just saying...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi all,

    To respond to everyone:

    Anonymous: Whatever, Dude.

    QC: Fun is what it is all about

    Inog: Paris?

    Lucky red: I will continue to rock the fuck on

    oosje: eventually Paris makes everyone illiterate

    Marge: Alas, I no longer have the Pooh towels, they have been replaced with equally disturbing HR Puf-n-Stuff ones. As for who I am, I am Ev's fiance...I am a porfessional photographer and author of Saragosa. I have lurked for a while, posted once or twice.

    Lisa: Watch the mail...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ooh, more pressies.
    I love mail off you and Ev.(can you try to convince her I DONT need any more condoms. Ta)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ev and Lisa are sharing condoms?

    ReplyDelete
  11. uh...that should read professional...stupid fingers

    ReplyDelete
  12. Paris is still nice.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Is it 12 days yet? Im bored....

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey Inog, how are those "ho's" in Paris?

    Bill: So Ev got her meat hooks into you? Good luck with that one buddy. The post was very entertaining. I enjoyed it.

    Mr. G&T, say hi to the family for me. Big kiss for mom...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks B.S.

    Yes, Ev has me hooked. She's beautiful, smart, funny, and talks about you guys CONSTANTLY. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous10:33 AM

    awww...buttercup

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.