Monday, January 15, 2007

What to do with Lindsay

Oh good god.

I didn't see it coming.

I had no warning.

I didn't mean to do it.

I was utterly taken by surprise, distracted as I was by Britney's sagging vag, and Paris's vapid gaze; by the endless swirl of nightclub gluttony and flashes for the paparazzi flash bulbs; by the endless parade of thong straps and see-through gauzy get-ups. It honestly never dawned on me before this afternoon, and I was shocked, literally, by my realization:

I appear to be undeniably attracted to Lindsay Lohan.


The green (sometimes blue) eyes lighting the Irish freckles, contrasting with the reddish brown hair, all mix toxically with her creamy ample bosoms.

On the one hand, I know all too well that she is nothing more than a untalented spoiled trampy media whore.

But then, I spy the see-through publicity portraits and the slighty-drunk slutty bedroom eyes...



Look, when I say "attracted" I don't mean in that "Hey, I think you have an interesting personality-let's get lunch" sort of way. Hell no! I mean it in the "Hey baby, Let's lick each-other's tonsils" sort of way... She's kinda hot, but entirely insufferable. Seriously, I don't know what to do!

I need better standards.

9 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:56 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. amanda8:25 AM

    You may need better standards, but what you really need is password protection on your blog. Good lord.

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  3. There is no shame in admitting an attraction to large breasted red haired promiscuious young women. It's our god given right.

    I thought she was hot in "Parent Trap", is that wrong?

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  4. yes, b.s that is wrong... LOL

    Brian - it appears that you are attracted to women who appear to be terminally ill. I'd love to spend more time psychoanalyzing you, but I'd have to charge after the first 30 hours.

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  5. Lindsey does not have ample breasts and should not be revered. She is a disturbed young woman with a severe eating disorder. Fuck, I am so sick of hearing about Lindsey, Paris and Brittany. This is why I avoid media.

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  6. Gotta go with my wingman, Ryan, there. There is nothing attractive about Lindsay Lohan in my book. If I wanted a dope-ridden, big-boobed party girl, hundred dollars at a strip club will ultimately solve that problem without the baggage of Lindsay Lohan. Yep, a stripper has less baggage than Lindsay Lohan in my book. Do the math.

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  7. Well, yes, I agree, she is not the sort of person you actually want to be attracted to. I mean she is a sad wannabe hanger-on to the Britney and Paris clique. She probably does have multiple competing eating disorders. She is a textbook narcisist.

    Yet, I wanna lick her freckles. It's just wrong.

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  8. Wow. What a surprise. You like bad, naughty girls. Did you think this was news to us?

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  9. The panty3:48 PM

    Let me just say, the rug does not match the curtains.

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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