Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Ultimate Showdown


We've all seen the little video. Now it is time to pose the ultimate challenge:

VERSUS


GEORGE WASHINGTON

Fact #1

George Washington: Was 6'8" and weighed 1 ton.

Chuck Norris: Not measurable by any form of Geometry or Physics.

Fact #2

George Washington: 2 sets of testicles.

Chuck Norris: Chuck doesn't get kicked in the nuts, his nuts kick you.

Fact #3

George Washington: Invented cocaine.

Chuck Norris: Necessity is the mother of invention, but Chuck Norris is its father.

Fact#4

George Washington: Had a pocketful of horses and fucked the shit our of bears.

Chuck Norris: Ya, George can have that one...

Fact #5

George Washington: Will kick you apart.

Chuck Norris: Will also kick you apart.

Fact #6

George Washington: Women dug his snuff and his gallant stroll.

Chuck Norris: Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Fact #7

George Washington: 12 stories tall and made of radiation.

Chuck Norris: Doesn't get sunburned. Rather, the sun gets Chuckburned.

Fact #8

George Washington: 6'20" - fuckin killing for fun.

Chuck Norris: Has a deep and abiding respect for human life... Unless it gets in his way.

Alright folks, those are the facts. You be the judge...

6 comments:

  1. Uh...maybe a hiatus isn't such a bad idea, Brian...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:06 AM

    At one time, I wouldn't have questioned the primacy of Chuck Norris, but I have to go with George this time. He'll kick you apart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My math teacher looks just like Chuck Norris. On crank.

    Just thought I'd throw that in there. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. George fucks bears > that's a win in my book.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10:35 AM

    Chuck Norris isn't high on crank. Crank is high on Chuck Norris.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Chuck Norris would win - cos George Washington is dead.

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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