Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Thank You Texas!!

Yeee haw!!

Hell ya!

On behalf of John McCain, George Bush, the military industrial complex, Big Oil, JESUS and the entire Republican Party...

Thank you Texas Democrats!
Thank the Lord Jesus Christ for you!!
And thank you Ohio and Rhode Island Dems Too!!

Truly, it took courage and sacrifice. With every national poll showing that our leader, and war hero, Senator McCain easily defeating Clinton, but likely getting squashed like a bug by Obama, we were getting worried. It was, therefore, a remarkable magnanimous gesture for you to give us Hillary Clinton.

Sure... sure... sure... You could have easily wrapped up the entire painfully-tedious primary process and sealed up the general election to boot with one simple vote, but instead You resurrected the floundering senator from New York.

What a fine gesture of bi-partisanship that was. You love us! You really must really love us!! After all, according to those pesky polls, a vote for Hillary is really just a vote for McCain.

Now I can't speak for them, but I'm certain that Bill and Hillary also appreciate your support.

However, I suspect that Bill particularly appreciates your support. What with his wife away running the affairs of the world, he'll be left to manage his own affairs. And just think of all the grade-A prime pussy in store for him as the first-gentleman...

Oh, and, China also sends its deepest appreciation.

Sure, it was the BUSH family that discovered the endless cash-tit of Asia, but it was the Clintons who perfected the suckling technique. By borrowing billions, if not trillions, from the Chinese, the Bushes and the Clintons have sold us out, wholesale to the Reds. (You do realize that each and every member of your family is in debt to the tune of about $40,000, and most of that is owed to China, right?)

With those types of profits, China was worried that the US might actually make some sort of real change. They were really quite delighted to see that you have rejected change.

Instead of change, instead of hope, instead of victory, instead of respect...

...You gave us a Clinton.

And we, the Republicans, could not be more thrilled. So, C'mon Pennsylvania Democrats, you're next! And Oregon Democrats! Who would have ever thought you'd matter?? And Kentucky!Louisiana! North Carolina! Indiana! South Dakota! Get out the vote! Show us your spirited support for McCain by VOTING FOR HILLARY!!

To donate to to the Hillary Clinton campaign,

click HERE!

And again, I thank you. The religious right thanks you. John McCain thanks you. George Bush (both of them) thank you. The Halliburton Corporation thanks you. Exxon thanks you.

But most of all...



  1. Fucking retards. (aka - Fucktards)

    I still say that we do more to destroy the arguments in favor of democracy by our voting record than any totalitarian militaristic regime ever could.

  2. Monica Lewisky's ex-boyfriend's wife for President.

  3. Anonymous9:09 AM

    You think health care is expensive now, just wait until its free!!

  4. It is amazing to read sweeping declarations of victory, and proclimations for the future and praise for "closing the gap on Obama" when - 1. The Delegate count after the primaries, basically exactly what it was beforehand. If the Texas prima-caucus comes out as expected, there will actually be a slight lead to Obama - But again, no news headlines there. 2. Hillary didn't CLOSE the gap - she watched a 22 pt lead evaporate. 3. "Success" is defined as basically making sure that the Dems once again fail to coalesce around a candidate, and McCain gets a free ride, watching Dems beat up on one another while he just attends steak dinner fundraisers. Good fun.

  5. Dick Cheney10:35 AM

    mmm... democratic infighting. My favorite sport!

  6. Anonymous3:14 PM

    Hmm...Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriend's wife for President...nice ring to it

  7. Since you have already decided to vote for McCain, why do you care? And, considering your reason for voting for McCain, I don't think you are in any position to judge who other people vote for.

  8. I dunno. I may vote for McCain, but I may vote for Obama. All I know is that the Clinton-Bush Dynasty turns my stomach.

  9. Thanks a ton to all the racist, xenophobic, nepotistic, old, white, frightened Americans for making sure the rest of us can look forward to four more years of: war, high gas prices, declining education and environmental concern and aging, out of touch, caucasian men.

  10. dubbya12:29 PM

    Huh? voting for Hillary is like voting for McCain? I don't get it . . . But okay, if Dick says so. If Condie runs, will it be like voting for me again?


Be compelling.

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