Sunday, March 02, 2008

Canis Familiaris

My dog is a whore.

I've said it before, and it remains true. Whore. He can never get enough cooing, petting, patting and scratching from human beings. He craves human attention like he should crave raw meat.

He'll actually drop raw meat and sniff at it before licking it, but if he sees a person? He gets all up in there... So to speak.

And so it was today, blue sky, light breeze, house full of insane screaming children... It was time to take the dog for some exercise, and to get out of Dodge.

Along the ridge of a nearby hill, the City of Lake Oswego has built a lovely little enclosed dog park in a field that used to be a farm. Well, actually, they recently tore down the dog park to build a newer fancier one. However, in the interim, they have erected a newer, nicer, larger temporary dog park across the street, while the even bigger, more-newer and extra-super fancier one is completed on the site of the old one. (like the dogs give a shit...)


The tight muddy parking strip was packed. Filled with exactly the sort of cars you'd expect to find in Lake-O. My Shepherd-Husky was absolutely convulsing with anticipation. We got to the gate, and I released the leash. He dove into the the closest pack of big dogs he could find.

This gave me a minute to survey the scene. The dogs roam and race in fluid packs, breaking off, splitting and rejoining in constantly evolving cliques. Some owners brings balls to throw or ropes for wrestling. Some owners act annoyed when their little game of fetch is interrupted by a dozen dogs thundering by, and their precious little muffin gets taken up with the frenzy.

But usually, most folks go with the flow.

Today there was a Dane, tall, horse-like heavy. Her blue-silver coat rippled like watered-steel. Her paws were like hoofs. She and my dog greeted each other with cursory butt-sniffs. They were soon joined by an all-white albino-like boxer. Spotless, but for a brown triangle next to his right ear. A giant wrinkled charcoal-gray Mastiff joined the gang, and they set off together to wander.

Now, my dog thinks of himself as a big dog, and surely he isn't small, but in this group? Oh ya, he looked like a puppy.

The four sauntered along, interrupted only momentarily by a dirty yipping Yorkie, which was quickly quashed by the stately Dane. They moved along, touring the park, but were soon stopped in their tracks by an inquisitive and fearless Jack Russel Terrier. The JR was out for action. He wasn't at all interested in taking a stroll.

He jumped toward the pack and away again. Teasing. Taunting. And soon, the Dane took the bait. The park was crowded, but a hush fell. The gambit had caught the collective eye of the human observers. The Dane darted out, pouncing, but the JR reacted with precogniscent speed.

The race was on. Jack Russels are fast, and this one was no slouch, but the Dane opened the throttle on those long muscular hind legs. They raced in circuits round and round and round...

This is where my dog lost interest. He wandered over to a nice lady with a water dish and got her to scratch his ears. Then, to the cute girl with the tight jeans and the frightened Whippet. She cooed and patted his head. Then he was off to the little girls, the middle aged couple, the fat lesbians and the old man who was trying to teach his Golden Retriever how to chase a tennis ball.

He soon lost interest in any of the other dogs altogether, rather roaming from hand to hand, hording human affection along the way. And really, he is rather quite popular. Hell, I get more compliments for him in public than I do for my kids, and frankly, my kids are cute!

I like the dog park. I like the dogs. I like the dog owners. While I always feel awkward and out-of-place around other parents of small children, I can always chat comfortably with a dog person...

Oh, and who was the fastest dog? Well, the Jack Russel and the Dane paced each other for several laps, both breaking off in a virtual tie. However, the true speed winner proved later to be that Whippet that I mentioned. Her owner called her from across the field, and she flew, as if with a jet-pack, putting the bigger dogs to shame.


  1. You know, we kind of expected a story about your dog mounting the great dane...or at least the cute girl with the tight jeans.

    cue the porno music...

  2. Please... do not get him started on pictures of dogs having sex with ANYTHING...
    Good heavens... are there no standards anymore!!!?

    Actually, we're looking at taking the pups to the dog park in Santa Monica. That pugston is fast... too fast... I'll put $5.00 on her against the Whippet...


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