You never need be lean
Fat and meat may taste good, but
Your spices are most keen
Every dish I add you to
Improves by leaps and bounds
Though if I add more than a few
My ass gains 20 pounds
Kielbasa and Salami
Italian and Bratwurst
Bangers and Bologna
They're the meat I reach for first
But man is a carnivorous production
ReplyDeleteAnd must have meals - at least once a day;
He cannot live, like woodcocks, upon suction,
But, like the shark and tiger, must have prey.
We don't partake in the Devil's meatloaf in my household.
ReplyDeleteSo it's all cookies and no meat?
ReplyDeleteOh, and welcome Lord Byron, it's always nice to have famous dead poets stop by...
ReplyDeletemmmm... links o love... I heart sausage. The only kind I'm not particularly big on are sausage patties. But my favorite is Italian.. or those maple-flavored breakfast links. Drooool...
ReplyDeleteSome hae meat and canna eat,
ReplyDeleteAnd some wad eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.
According to research, pigs are much smarter than dogs, and they even do better at video games than some primates. In fact, pigs are extremely clever animals who form complex social networks and have excellent memories. Eating a pig is like eating your dog! As actor Cameron Diaz put it after hearing that pigs have the mental capacities of a 3-year-old human: "Eating a sausage is like eating my niece!"
ReplyDeleteHmmm... well, when you put it that way, is eating Cameron Diaz an option?
ReplyDeleteSo, if my neice is 13, would that be like eating 4.3 pigs? I've never used Cameron Diaz as my moral compass before and I'm curious what her opinion would be.
ReplyDelete...or her niece?
ReplyDeleteBrian - Stay away from my niece!
ReplyDeleteMitch - Can you provide references?
Fred - No. That's like expecting to get a 20% discount when you're buying 2 items that are 10% off. Eating a 13 year old is more like eating a dolphin.
I have a lovely recipe for smoked-dolphin tacos with mango salsa
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of sausage, Yahoo News finally caught up with Tyler Durden and the Daniel Radcliff story. Here's my favorite part:
ReplyDelete"The anti-smoking group ASH said Radcliffe's onstage cigarette was "regrettable." The group said it feared Radcliffe's status as a role model might encourage young people to start smoking."
The character is a mentally disturbed boy who has sex with horses before blinding them with a spike. If there are teenagers who really identify with him as a role model, I say give them as many cigarettes as they want, and then some.
Cameron -
ReplyDeleteOf course I have references. Please tell me where and when I can deliver them...
mmmm... dolphin... the other other other chicken of the sea.
Brian isn't one of your references, is he? I don't trust his judgment.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if dolphin sausage would be good. Or, at least good enough to inspire a meat poem.
ReplyDeleteIsn't dolphin sausage redundant?
ReplyDelete"Sausage is nothing but a indigestable balloon filled with Tuberculosis"
ReplyDeleteTuberculosis is delicious!
ReplyDeletePork and leek sausages are good
ReplyDeleteYou could eat them Thursday to celebrate St David's Day
And wear red and a daffodil
Im determined you buggers will celebrate my Saint like you do St bloody Patrick