Sunday, August 13, 2006

Top of the Heap

What makes a good commentator?

Wit. Timing. That certain sense about what to say to maximize the public humiliation of the blogger. Certainly Dr. Brian has exhibited these traits. So has Inog. And, of course, Leah, but, she's already been dealt with.

Other commentators are just a bit off center. They pitch-in with their two cents, usually for the quick laugh, but rarely on topic. Tom, for instance, but also Margus, and Deuce. Oh, and don't forget Amanda. I always look forward to hearing from them.

Then, there are the supporters, the nice folks. These are the fans, the readers who don't just skip to the end. There is Lisa, of course, and Evelyn ("Hooray for my vagina!"). There are also the secret readers who comment by email. You guys know who you are...

Next a nod to the literal respondents. Ux and Abestis. These folks keep track of what's being said. The respond on point. There is no pulling the wool over their eyes.

But who's the best? Who is the king of the hill, top of the heap? A-Number1?

The Ginny for Favorite Commentator must go to:


And not just any one of the three folks who regularly call themselves "anonymous." Not just "The Other Anonymous." Not just "The Original Anonymous." I mean ALL y'all. The award goes to each and every person, myself included, who has hidden behind the magic cloak of anonymity to publicly say what shouldn't be said, to take a swipe or even a poke, to steal the laugh or speak your mind. Whether you call yourself "Anonymous," "The Missing Arm," or "The Kayak Paddle," You all get the the award.

I truly appreciate the subversive intent that goes into every anonymous post. If you need to protect your identity, I expect that you will have something interesting to say. You will be witty and probably sharp. You will be odd and a little off center. You will most likely have read the post in its entirety. You will be a regular reader and maybe even a fan. You will certainly pay attention to the finer details. For all of these reasons you, Anonymous, in all of your incarnations, get this award.


  1. Anonymous12:27 AM

    Team Anonymous fuckin' rocks!

  2. the arm8:07 AM

    I'm showing anonymous that he/she is number one.

  3. Hey, I'm not pregnant anymore.

  4. Anonymous9:23 AM

    Hmmmmm, arms don't have fingers so the arm must be giving a Nazi salute. Interesting.

  5. amanda10:14 AM

    Hmmm. Is there a fetish about getting pounded by a handless arm? It's a little easier on the vag and the ass than a fisting, but even more kinky? That's a ponderer. Someone wanna google that?

  6. Leah - I know this is a shock... but I don't think this blog is about you...

  7. For the record, I do not use Brian's blog for public humilation. I have a comic strip for that.

  8. My Vagina saluts the winners.

    - See - sometimes it pays off to be a loser.

  9. Anonymous12:33 PM

    How does a vagina salute? Does it wave one of its flaps or just hold it up a little higher than the other?

  10. Charles DeGaulle1:10 PM

    It's like a French salute - it clasps you by the shoulders and kisses each of your cheeks. Viva la France!

  11. The Vagina2:11 PM

    That gives French Kiss a whole new meaning

  12. The kayak2:58 PM

    I'm not as easy on the ass and the vagina so I should have won. Besides I had to carry Brian's candy ass.

  13. Anonymous3:20 PM

    Howard Cosell was a commentator.
    Anonymous is a commenter.

  14. so that would mean wearing womens underwear is what makes a good commentator

  15. Anonymous11:25 PM

    I don't think I've ever thought of a kayak as angry until now.


Be compelling.

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