Wednesday, December 21, 2005

One Small Step

America sent men to the moon to out-pace the godless Soviets, and prove that capitalism was the superior economic model. Under the watchful eyes of first Kennedy, then Johnson, NASA set a goal, and (assuming the conspiracy theorists have it wrong) they took the necessary actions to achieve their goal.

It is important to have goals. Without them, you will never have the motivation you need to get your lazy ass off the sofa. Columbus sought China. Bill Gates sought to make a buck or two selling software.

I take the same philosophy in childrearing. If you want your child to do something, make them want it. Make it a goal that they want to reach.

So, the Howler Monkey has been doing a lot of standing and shuffling, much like old dad after a night at the Boom Boom Room. It has been clear that walking is not far away, and tonight, it finally happened. The wee lass took her first awkward shuffling steps.

I was right there, of course, prompting her all the way. I had to give her a goal. I had to make her really want to take those first few steps. So what was it? With what did I tempt and taunt the tot into taking those first steps??

Beer. Yes, I held out my half-empty beer bottle (New Belgium Brewing Frambozen Cranberry Brown Ale, in case you were wondering) and she lunged for it. The Monkey walks for beer. I couldn't be more proud. She is truly her daddy's little girl.


  1. Yeah...that clinches it, she and Gabe are made for each other. They'll spend many a blissful night together, passed out on the couch with Beavis and Butthead reruns on the telly. Our grandchildren will be brilliant.

  2. Anonymous2:52 PM

    What is this fascination with marrying the children off while they are still in diapers? Is the princess Indian (dot, not feather)?

  3. It's a sickness really, a projection of her frustration from having never married me. Mostly I ignore her and let her prattle on...

  4. Brian Smith8:34 PM

    Underage female drinkers, Its like music to my ears


Be compelling.

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