Monday, December 26, 2005

The Old Guy in the club

Guest Blogger: Tom

Each morning I work wax stylishly into my hair and tighten the laces on my all black Chuck Taylor high tops. I listen to the latest indie bands on my satellite radio. I read witty and pithy books by hot young writers. I bash Bush. I have an IPOD. I still look for clothes at Urban Outfitters. In fact, I am downright cool. Yes, I do understand that cool people don't use the word downright, but work with me.

Recently, I've discovered something new about myself. I'm not cool.I'm just old. Not old enough to have open discussions about my bowel movements with anyone who will listen, but old enough to have considered writing about them on this blog. You see I don't really feel any older, but there does come a time when you realize that most of the bands you love broke up ten years ago. When I approach a group of college age individuals, I still see myself as one of them. Youth culture always remains the same age. Later when I look in the mirror I realize to my horror that I am an accountant wearing a polo shirt.

No one thinks I'm cool anymore. Many would argue that I was never cool. I am one step away from that old bearded earringed eccentric trying to dance with the young hipster girls at the She Wants Revenge show. Twirling aimlessly. Beer in hand. Rocking my head back and forth. Shouting woohoo louder than anyone.


  1. I made a reference to Mrs. Garett from ‘The Facts of Life” to my 21 year old roommate – she said to me – who is that? I feel your pain. I have now turned into my mom – making reference to songs about boots that were made for walking…….and yes – you were never cool – but nice try.

  2. amanda5:37 AM

    I agree, you're not cool. Ev, as for your roommate, I'm shocked that she doesn't know Mrs. Edna Garrett; if not from her own memories, how could she have missed the shared memories of the not-so-famous people on VH1's I Love the 80s?

  3. I think I had “She Wants Revenge” on a mix tape I made for my girlfriend back in High School. It was an awesome tape. It had SWG, Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Call and all the great tunes that provided more emotional range and teen angst than any John Hughes film.

    I made two copies. I wasn’t lame, dubbing a copy of a mix tape. I pulled the songs off my 12” LP’s one by one twice and made two copies.

    Oh yeah. I also had a full length dark gray tweed coat. And my Converse were not Chucks. They were the classic full height wrestlers. Black canvas with a slipper sole and lacing half way up my shins.

    But hell, that was 25 years ago. Now I listen to new music because I am cool. I have the new Depeche Mode, “Siren’s Call” by New Order, “Siberia” by Echo and the Bunnymen. I am hip and “with it” and stay up to date with the times.

    My Converse are now light blue Jack Purcells.

  4. "The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." - Lester Bangs, Almost Famous.

    Fuck them.

  5. HA! I remember dancing until 2 a.m. as the lesbian bars and checking out the totally hot chyck who always sat on the speakers and looked too cool for all of us. Of course, we knew she was 27 and I thought "Gawd, that's so OLD to still be going out to the bars." 27. Oy.

  6. Brian Smith7:19 PM

    The part I hate about being old is being invisible. You walk by the 20 something college girl and give her a little smile and get no reaction. Not that I ever did but anyway. I thought I saw a few balder and grayer old men at the echo and the bunnymen concert. Actually, when I looked over at you at one point you were yawning and text messaging your wife and I thought to myself who is this old fucker and why is he standing next to me.

  7. One step away? You might want to take a closer look


Be compelling.

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