Thursday, December 29, 2005

I Love Lesbians

Who doesn't like the sight of two pretty girls kissing? I mean really, be honest. It's just a nice thing, very sweet, sugar and spice...

Problem is, it doesn't excite me anymore. Oh sure, there was a time when really dirty girl-on-girl porno would get the old heart racing, make the palms sweaty and send me looking for a bathroom with a lock on the door, but that's all changed now. It's just a hollow empty shell of titillation that once-was. Nothing, not even a twitch of the old turkey neck.

It's to be expected, you see? There's always something for everyone. It's just that the definition of my "something" tends to be a bit dynamic, as it were. It was once Japanese girls in knee-high stockings. Then, it was small-nippled pasty- skinned waifs. Pregnant. Redhead. Whatever.

It keeps changing, but I could always fall back on the lesbians. Well, until recently that is. I've discovered that I have lost the taste for filthy photos of naked girls committing crimes against nature... Over and over... Zippo. Nadda. It's gone. No accounting for taste. At least I still have the redheads. I think freckles might be the next big thing.

Now, don't get me wrong. I still love my lesbian friends. They are much easier to get along with than most guys, AND we share common interests! I just don't need to see them groping their girlfriends anymore.

Of course, there is one friend, who until recently, remained squarely in the closet. A couple of years ago, this girl, let's call her "S," led a pack of jackals at my sister's church to criticize and condemn my sister for getting divorced and violating the holy sanctity of the marriage vow, and, blah blah blah... Some friend! Well, anyway, turns out that Miss Sanctimoniousness has now left her own husband for another woman (not that there's anything wrong with that per se). Not only her husband, though, but also the two third-world children they just adopted (purchased). I love hypocrisy!

With so much lesbian turmoil surrounding me, I thought it was only fitting this last week to see a T-shirt that a friend's brother got for Christmas. It read, "I ♥ Lesbians." And really, I do. I just don't have a need to see them in full carpet-cleaning mode any longer. Oh, and, they should learn to stay away from fundamentalist protestant churches... Just sayin...

That's right babies, I'm back. Miss me?

1 comment:

  1. I love lesbians too. Just sayin'....

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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