Monday, April 21, 2008

Orgy

It's an opulent orgy of veritable Lounge delights!

Item One: The Zombie

She is the sub-living undead. In debt, and losing in every possible tally, behind in delegates, behind in states, behind in the popular vote. She has no hope of winning. Greedy and divisive, though, like her lizard-like husband before her, she can think only of herself.

Fuck the party!

Fuck the country!

Fuck the world!

Clinton Uber Alles! Zieg Heil!

So, now, she has openly proposed the nuclear annihilation of Persia. Yes, that's right. She has openly advocated the instigation of global ballistic thermo nuclear hostilities with Iran. That is her 11th hour solution. That, my Clinton-supporting friends is your candidate. And it is a megalomaniac in a state of sheer desperation.

This country is ready for a female President. She, simply, is not that woman. Just like Jesse Jackson was not the right African American.

So, to my friends in Pennsylvania, all two of you, this is your hour. This is your opportunity to put an end to the partisan hemorrhaging. If we are going to stop Cheney and Rove and Bush and Aramco and King Abdullah and the Bin Laden family and Northrup and Halliburton and all the rest, then we must first stop Hillary.

She refuses to accept the inevitable, and she further weakens any chances that we and Obama have against the well-armed right.

Pennsylvania, you must stop her. You must staunch the flow. You must destroy the zombie. A single decisive blow will do it. A simple 51% majority. Even if you love her, it's time to send her a message. It's time do the smart thing.

Item Two: The Second Coming

Once before, we have been graced by his presence in this state. He descended through the clouds, as if upon the backs of cherubim. Yet, no, it was only a 737.

Dr. B is coming to town, and I know y'all want to lay hands upon him. Now, I'm not attesting to the rumor that he has magical healing abilities, but you can be sure I will be rubbing the hem of his garment.

Booze and strippers, for certain will be upon the menu. In fact, I suspect that the Saturday of his tenure will be the date of a legendary stripper safari. And yes, all of you are invited.

"When?" you may ask.

June, it seems, June 6-9, unless for some unforeseen reason, plans change. So, mark your calendars now. Plan for poker. Plan for drinking. Plan for an unholy hoedown of mystical proportions. The Dentist is coming to town.

Item Three: Did Someone Say "Orgy?"

And, just what was all this about an Orgy??

I've been wondering lately, just what happened to the good old fashioned Orgy party? I suppose you used to hear about them. Back in the age of Disco and key parties.

You know, Orgies. Groups like-minded consenting adults, hooking up, getting high and losing their clothes. I mean, who doesn't enjoy naked fun time? Who doesn't enjoy pleasure?

Yet, somehow, those days have gone the way of the rotary telephone. sure, there are any number of hangups, risks and complications, but really, how has human nature let this hot button to the pleasure center lapse? I dunno know. I just don't know.




Of course, leave it to the Japanese to sterilize, sort, and organize such a perfectly prurient pleasure...

19 comments:

  1. I'll try and swing by and play poker with Dr. B between Manila and Hawaii. Maybe some cards too.

    Either way, it is a gable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I somehow remember coming up there at least 2 times before. Once for the wedding and another time when we did a lot of club hoping. I know Tom was there and at 3 places the strippers knew him by name. I got to see where family train lived too...and the dungeon

    ReplyDelete
  3. June 6 through 9, you say? Hmmmm...... HMMMMMMM....

    ReplyDelete
  4. texas8:46 AM

    Whoooweee, we've had some mighty fine orgies down here of late with those Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints folks hangin' around.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Speaking of remembering...

    Vote for Monica Lewisky's ex-boyfriend's wife for President? Sounds kinda crazy doesn't it. My what short memories we have. Didn't like 63 people who were potientially harmful to the Clintons mysteriously die in that 8year period?

    But hey, Clinton is the least of our issues right now considering the shit that Carter is trying to do in the middle east.

    Sitting down with the leaders of terrorist nations sounds warm and fuzzy, But, let's look a little closer at his presidency and make sure that Obama doesn't become Carter II.

    Sorry, didn't want to get all political but you started it.

    Hi Helly. (Wave)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ilove Dr. B's line about Clinton's ex-girlfriend.
    As for the drunken stripper hoedown when Dr. B is here, I'm in. June 9th is my b-day so its the perfect weekend to party!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes Dave, I sense a perfect storm a'brewin...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wrong contraction. Oops.

    Dr. B., sadly I will be back on a barge in June and won't be able to attend the festivities. This time it's off to Europe. Enjoy your booze-induced carousing to the fullest!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thats it! The trip is cancelled if Amanda can't be there and Inog wants to poke me. I'm working on Dave to join me. He's being a big pussy though.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just tickle behind his ears and offer some tuna. He'll come around.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh eat me, Dental-Boy. I'm trying to work it out in my work-travel schedule.

    ReplyDelete
  12. More than twenty years have gone by, but the taunts seem likely to have stayed the same. Amazing.

    I think if I had have been able to attend, I would have wanted a glass barrier so that I could have studied you in your native habitat. Being up close and personal might have proven too much for me.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I did it! I did it! I voted for that man...that smooth skinned man with the long, gentle fingers! I feel so giddy...tee hee hee! Oh, la-de-dah, our day of redemtion is at hand! I am drunk on the wine of Democracy and, fuck! Fuck! I pressed the button and I really did it! Send the troll-wench screaming back to her lair of slime molds! Burn, loot, rape and steal! Wield your machete and chop! Chop! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! We're coming for you, Dentist Boy! Your skin will sizzle like a pan-seared porterhouse, when we burn you alive in the flames of your beloved Republican Reichstag! You in it, bur-ning UP! Ha ha! Yeee-haw! Obama! Free the prisoners! Obama! Kill whitey! Obama! Obama! OBEY, MOTHERFUCKERS! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    I really did vote for him, though. I feel pretty good about it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Barack Obama5:08 PM

    Thank You

    ReplyDelete
  15. Not that I can't see strippers here - but is the offer to come up only good if you have a penis?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Two Words for you family train:

    Operation chaos

    Republicans are changing their registration status to Democrat in order to vote for Clinton. The rest of the primaries will be closer than ever now.

    I still feel that McCain is the Antichrist though.

    And remember this...Hispanics hate blacks

    God bless you and I love you

    ReplyDelete
  17. Who would have thought I'd see the day when Repulicans were actually smarter than Democrats...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous9:12 PM

    Ha, ha, ha, Hillary won!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Isn't it fantastic! The slow moral and financial drain of Obama, as the Democratic party implodes on itself!

    I can't belive I joined this herd of vacuous retards. How hard is it for a single voting block to get its collective fucking shit together?? Maybe McCain deserves to win.

    Goddamn stupid motherfuckers...

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.