Thursday, May 01, 2008

Spoon

The boyscouts would say: "your pocketknife."

Douglas Adams would say: "your towel."

I say: "the lowly spoon."



You should always know where your spoon is. I may start traveling with mine. Truly it is the most universal utensil. It can be a fork. It can be a knife. It is the only dining implement that can make such wide boasts.

A spoon can kill, a spoon can feed, a spoon can dig.

A spoon can be cocked and released to launch projectiles. A spoon can be hammered into place to seal a hole in a skull. A slow spoon can be used as an effective torture device.

It can be used to serve sauces or honey or gravy or jam.

It can be played like a musical instrument. It can be used to close an electrical circuit.

The spoon is the most useful utensil. You should always know where your spoon is and you should never be without it.

21 comments:

  1. Do you still keep three in your ass?

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  2. How exactly do you use it as a fork (I'm thinking spaghetti). Wouldn't a spork be handier? If they came in steel, I suppose...

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  3. What are you going to do? Start keeping a stash of spoons everywhere? I don't see a spoon fitting in your pocket comfortably.

    I agree with Helly a "spork" would be handier.

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  4. Hahaha-- I think we just found Brian's next birthday present!

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  5. That's hilarious A. We should all send Brian a shipment of sporks...

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  6. Spork spam!

    Now say that 6 times in rapid succession ;-)

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  7. I like spooning

    Sporking looks a bit painful though

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  8. Ok, Lisa that's funny. Yes, "spooning" is nice with the right person and yes, I think "sporking" would ruin a moment.

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  9. I'm so sexy!

    I'll fork you fisrt, then we can spoon...

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  10. That's the best offer I've had in along time.

    Actually, it's the ONLY offer I've had in a long time...

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  11. And "spork" can't even spell, that's sad Lisa. I'm sure if you put your mind to it, you could get much better offers....

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  12. Do you think sporky was trying to say "fist" or "first"?

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  13. I was gonna comment after I read the "plug a hole in a skull". But then I decided to add that it is also useful when eating soggy bread.

    Family train will tell ya that it is also useful to pluck the eyeball out of a carp.

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  14. the hat8:11 AM

    I think I got my period today.

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  15. the panties10:06 AM

    You did.

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  16. I'm sorry to hear that hat. Are you all crampy and bloated?

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  17. the hat9:07 AM

    Not as much as you are.

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  18. So the hat wants to play nasty? You're the one who brought up your period and frankly it's totally off topic and you're likely one who was upset about Helly, Lisa and I having personal conversations and such on the lounge.

    How can you call someone you don't even know crabby? I'm frankly not a crabby person, so get off your high horse Mr. Hat.

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  19. the paddle9:33 AM

    I told you I was nicer than the hat but would you listen?

    No - it was always about the hat

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  20. Well, apparently everyone is bloated and crabby.

    Moving on now...

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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