Monday, July 16, 2007

Core

Nicole Kidman has run her course. She has been on the list long enough. And truth be told, she hasn't looked hot since she was packed up with pancake in Moulin Rouge.

I came to this conclusion the other evening, as I watched Stranger than Fiction. While I found that it was a surprisingly fantastic film, you may become confused to learn that Nicole Kidman is not in it. She is not in the film, nor is the film about her. She, in fact, has nothing to do with the film whatsoever.

Rather, prominently featured in the romantic-interest supporting role was none other than the naughty secretary herself, Maggie Gyllenhaal.

While I wondered silently to myself,why Maggie had been absent from the LIST for so long, my questions were given voice by the missus sitting over on the sofa. "Hey, why isn't Maggie on your list?" she asked.

Why, in deed...

Which caused me to reconsider the fickle fluidity of the list, and what lay at its core. Nicole has held on, for years now, out of sheer sentimentality, and the very rare occasion when she appears in public with red hair. That, my friends, is simply not enough.

Alyson Hannigan hasn't slayed me since the sun went down on Sunnydale.

And slot number 5... I don't even remember who last held slot number five. Oh, wait, it was the latest Bond babe, whose name I cannot remember. That simply will not do.

So, it is time for some re-tinkering.

So here it is, the all new-super-improved, all-refined and completely re-defined Gin & Tonic Lounge Laminated List:

1. Christina Ricci.
Duh...

2. Dita Von Tease.
Manson-free, and minty fresh...


3. Scarlett Johansson.
This one should have been obvious to anyone paying attention.


4. Maggie Gyllenhaal
She makes me want to proof read


And finally...
5. Jenna Fischer
Feisty office minx.
(Jim Halpert needs to grow a pair...)

9 comments:

  1. Wow a blond...and one that's not anorexic. I'm impressed, you're branching out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Liar. I know for a fact nothing makes you want to proofread.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dude, the last chick looks like she wants to kick my ass. OK not that anyone cares but here is my list.

    1) Madchen Amick
    2) Amy Lee (Evanescence)
    3) Milla Jovovich
    4) Asia Argento
    5) Rachel McAdams

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dr. B, the last chick is Pam from the office. She may be sultry and repressed, but you need fear no ass kicking...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh yeah I forgot...

    gay alternate: Mathew McConaughey
    fruit alternate: Avocado
    car alternate: 1964 lincoln towncar
    tool alternate: 3/8 socket driver

    ReplyDelete
  6. Doughnut alternative: Bavarian

    Sidedish alternative: Caesar salad

    Office supply alt: In Box

    ReplyDelete
  7. 1. Scarlett is only currently blonde, so that doesn't count.

    2. Jenna/Pam does look a little dominatrix in that pic.

    ReplyDelete
  8. been there and back8:19 PM

    I know everyone on my list.

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.