Voldemort

**Spoiler Free**

Although, not everyone has read the books through volume 6, so please use caution.

The fate of the latest dark lord to capture the popular imagination is at hand. No, I am not talking about the 2008 elections. Voldemort is near his mortal (muggle or magical) end, but in all likelihood, actually stands ready to take his place along side Darth Vader and Sauron in the cultural pantheon of Evil.

The frenzy is on. The 5th movie is making a bazillion dollars. THE BOOK, the 7th and final, is poised to make even more. The inevitable Canadian dumbass bookstore clerk has already shipped the unfortunate early copies. The leaks have erupted. The spoilers are out. 750 some-odd pages have been digitally photographed and released on line.

JK's global army of lawyers are at Def-Con 1. Cease-and-desist letters are flying.

Uber-geeks are gearing up for the the midnight costume-ball release. The waiting is finally near its end.

What will happen? Will Harry live or die? Is Snape's book-6-victim really dead? Was the prophecy really about Neville? All these answers and more will be available Saturday morning at 12:01 a.m.

Well, OK, they are available now.

Like a moth to a flame, flirting with disaster, risking the ultimate disappointment, I skirted and flitted around the spoiler posts surging forth from the nerdy-corner of the blogosphere.

Photos of the pages were posted. Conflicting photos with divergent text were also posted. Spoilers run amok. JK has stated publicly that two characters die. However, there have been enough death announcements in the past two days to suggest that, Hamlet-like, EVERYONE dies. Logically, that is highly unlikely. For better or for worse, I believe that the real spoilers have been diluted and disguised by an avalanche of bogus posts. You can't trust anything you read. So, I am keeping an open mind.

I'll wait for Friday night (Saturday morning)... I'll read the book the way it was meant to be read. Then, I'll wait for the rest of you to catch up.

In the mean time, here are my predictions, based solely upon my personal conjecture:

1) I believe that either Harry or his scar is the sixth and final Horcrux. Harry's mother represented the necessary triggering murder, and Harry has a "part of Voldemort" in him.

(Do you have any Dark Lord in you? Would you like some?)

Anyway, that would mean that Harry has to be destroyed in order to, uh, destroy Mr. V.

2) Snape is the hero. The obviousness surrounding Snape's complicity in the tragic events at the end of book 6 were transparent to the point of insult. Snapes' motivation to "save" Malfoy in the larger spiritual sense, combined with the victim's plea of "Snape please!" leaves no doubt as to Snape's allegiance. Really, if you are still doubting Snape's intentions, then you are either a 13-year-old girl, or you simply need to find something less-challenging to read.

That having been said, Snape, the tragic misunderstood underdog, will bear out, like Sam Gamgee, to be saver-of-the-day.

3) My prediction works out like this: having come to a realization about Snape's true nature, Harry conspires to get close to Voldemort. Harry, also having destroyed the other remaining Horcruxes finds some tragically heroic way of ending his own life, thus allowing Snape to throw the dark mojo at the Dark Lord, which in turn, violates Snape's oath, thus ending his own life. Voldemort's demise doesn't count toward the author's predicted body count, and we are left with a dead Harry and a dead Snape.

4) I also think that we find out, ironically, that the prophecy was about Longbottom.

5) I also predict that we will confirm that Snape's book-six victim is in fact really and truly dead.

6) Assuming Ron and Hermione survive, they get married. Hermione becomes headmaster.

7) Fred and George, while not excatly saving the day, open a can of wicked-powerful magical ass-whoopin.

8) Professor Trewlany doesn't see any of this coming...

If you need to reach me at midnight on Friday, you can find me on the street, in-line, next to Powell's City of Books. I'll save some pumpkin juice for you.