Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Ho Mok Ta Lay

Sausage and mushroom pizza?
New York steak, medium rare?
Oysters on the half shell?
Homemade vanilla bean ice cream, with caramel and whipped cream?

What would you choose, should you find yourself ordering out for the last time.

Say, for instance, you were in Texas, and were found driving an Econoline van filled full with dead high school cheerleaders. Then, as your day of reckoning came, as eternity drew near, and you were offered a final meal, what would you choose? Would you gluttonously gorge on every choco-bunnie and swizzle stick you could lay your sin-stenched fingers upon?

Would you meditate on a meal menu to remind you of your favorite flavors?

Would you carefully craft your meal for posterity, making a statement, vague and arcane as it may be, for future generations to ponder? (e.g. Ted Bundy ordered fried chicken, fried shrimp, french fries, and fresh strawberries. Then, he refused the meal when it came. How very peculiar...)

Would you use your order simply to screw with the guards one last time?

During many a long dark drive home, under the dreary drizzle of the Oregon winter, I asked myself this question. For a long while, I thought the answer was simply the peppery tart gelatinous General Tso's Chicken, as made only at August Moon in Portland. Maybe a side of the hot and sour soup, if I felt up to it.

Then, however, over time, I made the move to Massaman Curry with beef. It's like mom's homemade beef stew, that is if mom came from Surat Thani or Phitsanulok...

But now, however, I have made a new choice. No one felt like cooking tonight, and the monkey wanted to get out of the house. So, we packed up and rolled to the nearby Thai place.

Bored, I was, with my usual selections. So, I branched out and scanned the seafood selections on the right edge of the menu. A little something called Ho Mok Ta Lay caught my eye. Calamari, clams, scallops, mushrooms, onions, curry and sweet basil. Sweet Jesus! It was beauty in a bowl. It was almost proof that there was a god, and he was Thai...

So that's it, I can now go gracefully to the gallows, knowing confidently, that before I go, I get to eat some of that.

Oh, and, I'll order from Bangkok, just to screw with the guards.


  1. I think I'd forego the food and just screw the guards

  2. I'm sure that I won't be the only one to notice - strange, last minute plane flights, days at a time unaccounted for, excessive drinking and other self-destructive behaviors.. (or, for you UK folks, behaviours...)
    And now, the selection of a last meal...

    I think its a cry for help.

  3. hmmm... I really didn't see it that way. I was mostly excited about dinner.

  4. Its like this has turned into the Gin and Arsenic Lounge blog.

  5. No, really, it was just a good meal.

  6. Wow, Mitch that aside was a double swipe at the people of the UK. Feisty.

  7. I say American things
    I know more about US geography than I do the UK
    Things are now awesome insead of brill or fab
    But I refuse to lose U - it's never done anything to me

  8. I try to keep busy.

    Hey, if we're going to do a culinary blog, bring it on!
    I think that despite the criticisms of LA for its freeways, we do have some damn fine restaurants.

    (and, to keep my UK folks happy - let me say how much I enjoyed Rock and Sole Plaice, Katana and Hakasan, in London).

  9. London is in England, therefore I really dont give a damn but I'm glad you had a nice time. Next time, drive up the M4, when you hit the bridge where they want money, you're in the best place.

    I ate in some great places in LA

  10. Last Supper: I would request bread and wine. I would break the bread saying, "This is the body of Christ; the bread of heaven." And as I drank the wine, I would say, "this is the blood of Christ, the cup of salvation."

    I would then refuse further food, so I went to the gallows half starved and hallucinating hyper-religious experiences.

  11. Well -
    Now I guess I have more reasons to cross the pond again. Next time, I will try to sample a broader range of cuisine.

    We can discuss the stops in Italy too, unless that offends someone.

    Heaven knows, on this blog, I wouldn't want to offend....

  12. I wasn't offended - takes a lot to offend me..

    and all because Brian got excited by his dinner

  13. Mrs. G&T10:08 PM

    While Mitch and Jason taught me to love sushi at a fabulous LA spot, I otherwise find Portland food far superior. LA seems to require the homogenized pre-approval of a franchise or chain over smoky independent little dives with paintings of Elvis on velvet and great grilled cheese sandwiches or non-smoky dives that stretch like tunnels through several storefronts as the their clientelle grows with the legend of their "White Trash Meatloaf" and "Better than Mom's Fried Chicken" served with a bucket of Pabst and an orange concotion called "The General Lee"\that will knock your ass all the way to Hazzard County.

  14. When it comes to "dives" with great food, clearly, Mrs G&T has never been to: Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles; the Ragin Cajun; Tacos Por Favor or Alejos...

    Quality, "real" food, divey... but alas... no Pabst. We have to draw the line somewhere...

  15. familytrain3:17 PM

    Mrs. G&T, I am confounded by your implication that the dive of superlative eatin' good oh boy is not an L.A. institution. some of the most memorable meals of my life have been in dives throughout Los Angeles County. Portland "dives" seem contrived and tongue-and-cheek hipsterisms compared to the real divey-dives of L.A...but this was all before health department rating systems, so who knows the state of things now. In my opinion, the food is the only reason not to nuke SoCal outright.

  16. Nuke LA?
    Please... one side effect of the spray tanning is that it makes one impervious to all forms of radiation...

    AND - aside from the food, let me point out that:
    1. The Red Elvises live here (about 2 miles from me);

    2. Baywatch. Don't hassle the hoff;

    3. Los Angeles is home to both the Playboy Mansion and Flynt Enterprises (that's even before we discuss the impact to Brian of destroying Chatsworth...);

    4. Angels Flight - the shortest railway in the world;

    5. The Museum of Jurrasic Technology...

    Ahhh - the list goes on. And - for Ryan - Legoland...


Be compelling.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.