Sunday, January 29, 2006

Ahoy Meaty

If you take a 1.33-pound block of frozen 7%-fat ground beef, sitting in its original styrofoam tray, and hermetically sealed in clear plastic wrapping; and you set it in the sink, with the drain plugged; and you run warm water over the top, letting the water rise up over the sides; you will discover that the total volume of the meat and its container is greater than that of the equal mass of water being displaced. Thus, your meat package will have positive buoyancy, and will start to float..

What you will then have is nothing less than a meat boat. Anchors away!


  1. Oh good. Please tell me you're not trying to cook again. I'll alert the fire department. I mean,seriously, after the veggie sausage incident, haven't you given up yet?

  2. No, I was just playing with food in the sink

  3. Please don't tell me you ate that bacteria invested slab of death you call a boat?

    You will undoubtedly have the shits today. If you don't, your dog will.

  4. Anonymous9:06 AM

    I think a meat boat regatta needs to be arranged.

  5. Mrs. G&T4:24 PM

    1. Brian wasn't cooking. He was wrangling the Howler Monkey, which is an activity that requires a lot of trips to the sink. Who the hell do you think is in charge here? Sheesh.

    2. The water was cold, Brian not being in charge of indoor cooking. However, temperature does not affect buoyancy.

    3. Of course meat floats. Why would the mob need cement shoes if it didn't?

  6. Facts not yet known: I discoverd the meat boat run-aground in shallow cold water. Fearing that it would never be sufficient to float the boat, as it were, and not warm enough to have any trans-styrofoam thawing effect, I drained the cold water while the monkey was distracting the missus, and re-filled the basin with warmer-than-medium water...

    Further note: the meat-based dish turned out well. No one other than the Monky got the proverbial shits, but then, she already had them.

  7. Isn't meat boat just another name for vagina?


Be compelling.

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