Having 6 pearly white chompers, and further having recently deciphered the mystic art of crawling, the howler monkey has now mastered the ever-pleasing game of "Eat Daddy's DVDs!" Her favorite, and apparently the best tasting of the collection, is of course Daddy's DVD of the Sci Fi Channel's re-imagined Battlestar Galactica Miniseries. I am beginning to suspect the toddler of being a Cylon.
Thus, off to the strip mall O'pleanty we headed this fine Sunday-morn, passing packed churches to slake our retail thirst, like the gaggle of pagans we are. In short, our quest was successful, and I came away with the necessary block-and-tackle to construct a more-than adequate baby-proof DVD restraint system.
However, as these things go, I came away with something else. Much to Strider's delight, we returned home with a large bag bearing the Petco logo, weighted down with a heavily misshapen parcel. Having unshipped the cargo, and making grand gestures while doing so, I presented to the dog what might very well be the largest, and certainly most obscene, rawhide monstrosity known to dog-kind.
Never has a dog known more happiness. Admittedly, he was a bit intimidated by the bull-cock-sized inanimate object at first, but now, some two hours later, he has already managed to sever and consume the first hide knot. I fully anticipate the whole to be history by the run of the weekend. Good Dog!
It's actually quite sad how you envy my DVD collection.My films starring Katherine Hepburn alone outnumber your entire collection. In fact, I even own the corpse of Katherine Hepburn,which while not a DVD is at least worth the equivlent of one of your lame Buffy box sets.
ReplyDeleteAh, but did you get her autograph before she died?
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ReplyDeleteThe more I think about it, wouldn't God have all the DVD's? If not, what DVD's does God not have? Is there a God with a complete DVD collection? Can you rent from Him?
ReplyDeleteIf God owned every DVD he would have quite a porn collection. Would Jesus watch Ass Candy volume 7?
ReplyDeleteWell, if God is everywhere and sees everything, wouldn't he have already seen Ass Candy Volume 7 the last time you were watching it?
ReplyDeleteI was wearing a fake mustache, so I am fairly certain he thought I was someone else...
ReplyDeleteAll these comments and not one on the bull-cock-sized dog bone?
ReplyDeleteJust saying......
Bull-Cock-Sized Dog Bone Update: The weekend is nearly over and we're down to about 8 inches. He has taken a number of long breaks, but is currently in full carnivore/predator/hide-slayer mode. It may be gone by morning.
ReplyDeleteDid you buy that rawhide so Strider will stop with the knowing looks when you are sitting around without your pants on?
ReplyDeleteAh, the horror that I face in the mirror every morning...
ReplyDeleteIf you ask me - there is more sexual tension between Tom and Brian - than Strider and Brian - heck even more than Strider and the Bull-Cock-Sized Dog Bone.
ReplyDeleteSexual tension between Tom and Brian is nothing new. I'm sure Tom bought that fake mustache more for Brian and less to hide out from God.
ReplyDelete