Monday, January 07, 2008

Sunshine and Bunnies

In some small measure of repentance for yesterday's affront to morality, I offer this token: today, we talk about sunshine and bunnies.

Sunshine. Warm, golden rays of happiness falling serenely to Earth, feeding the leafy green trees, and giving light to the day.

Well, maybe not "Warm," per se, more like "Hot" really. And it doesn't really fall to Earth, does it? No, it really blasts away at the earth, eroding our delicate protective atmosphere with solar wind, ultra violet rays and Gama radiation!

And while the leafy green trees are happy, the Polar Bears aren't. I mean, really hasn't there been enough global warming? So, all of the ice melts, the seas rise and the lowlands flood, causing massive global devastation and death, hurray for the big old ball of burning fucking gas in the sky!

Not to mention how easily my sensitive Irish skin burns and blisters under the sun's angry onslaught. And my eyes! The sun is blinding with its pulsating fury...

And of course it is scheduled to explode and destroy us all in 5 billion years.

OK. OK. OK... Forget the sun.

Bunnies. Let's talk about bunnies.

Happy cuddly furry bunnies. With the big floppy ears. With the twitchy, uneasy nose, twitching... twitching... Overgrown whiskers also twitching... unsteady... jumpy... skittish... unpredictable...

And the giant razor-sharp teeth... Chomping. Biting. Gnawing, with the crushing power of an iron bolt cutter!

Jesus Christ! Forget it. I'm going back to the poop licking.

13 comments:

  1. "I'm going back to the poop licking."

    I guess it is no suprise that I have heard you say that more than once.

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  2. Ah yes, Global warning. Its got to be true. Al Gore has said so and because we have research back 5000 years ago showing that this is definately not a just a trend in our world climate.

    Yeah, and pooping releases methane too. I think we all need to do our part and stop.

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  3. Anonymous8:53 AM

    Only Mr. G&T can make poop licking sound better than sunshine and bunnies

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  4. Ah. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Arguably the best comediac fantasty movie ever made!

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  5. There is nothing funny about bunnies. They are wild viscious rodents with sharp teeth.

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  6. Anonymous11:29 AM

    You are so money and you dont even know it.

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  7. Anya Emannuella Christina Jenkins1:28 PM

    Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes,
    They've got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.
    And what's with all the carrots?
    What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?

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  8. Someone clearly was getting into the Macallan and watching a little Monty Python while whipping up this blogging gem...

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  9. Unfortunately, all I had was a little J&B

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  10. J&B is shit. That makes you a shit eater.

    No suprise that since you watched that video you switched to blends.

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  11. For sure, J&B is ass-juice. However, I was in need of scotch down in CA,and it was the only thing available at the grocery store...

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  12. OH yeah - cause we californias don't drink Scotch since the Compton riots in 71.....can't trust whitey anymore.

    (rolling eyes)

    Never saw the buffy/swinger/monty python bunny tie in until today - clearly a sign of ultimate coolness.

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Be compelling.

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