Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Die Freundliche Himmel

German travel agency, Ossi Urlaub, has announced that it is booking an all-nude charter flight from the German town of Erfurt to the popular Baltic Sea resort of Usedom.

55 seats are available. Each ticket runs the approximate Euro equivalent of $735 (US). (I suppose this means a long line for the lavatory with 26 couples and one polyamorous threesome queuing down the aisle waiting to join the mile-high club...)

This, of course, piqued my prurient interest. However, while I momentarily considered chartering a similar G&T Lounge all-nude flight to Vegas, the horror of reality has dashed my dreams.

First, I would worry about turbulence. Bouncy aircraft would lead to jiggling. Lots of it, and probably not of the pleasant variety. Which leads to seat belts, which would chafe, I suppose, were one not wearing pants.

Second, there are many of you that I really don't want to see naked.

Which leads to my third point. On most flights, when I fly alone, I usually get seated next to the only other large man on the plane. So, on the all-nude G&T flight, I would very likely get sat next to Tom and/or Inog, and really, um, no offense, but no. No. No No. (Mitch maybe, or Dr. B., but I digress...)

Fourth, there are some of you who would be very popular on an all-nude G&T flight. You know who you are. And really, it should be all about me. I don't want to share the spotlight, so go put some clothes on, goddamnit!

Alas, the dream of an all-nude G&T charter flight was but a flicker of hope, momentary, ethereal, but not meant to last. The Germans though, they really know how to put their dreams into motion. Take Farfegnugen for instance, or Lebensraum. Now there's a German idea that really took off...


  1. Well, I've seen you naked and I wanted to pluck out my retinas. Besides, no one wants to see that scar where they removed your third nipple.

  2. OK, Chewbacca, I wouldn't throw stones...

  3. no, I dont have as much body hair...where do ya think the transplants came from.

  4. Well, I didn't want to mention it, but the hair plugs do look a little short and curly...

  5. Well,
    I had similar (mile)high hopes when I heard about the Hooters Airline.

    Sadly, like many ideas that sound better in the planning stages than how they actually turned out - It was more about wings and bbq sauce on an already crowded, Southwest Airlines style 747, than the Fast Times at Ridgemont High/Phoebe Cates moment than one would have hoped for....

    mmmm...hot wings....

  6. Garuda Frequent Flyer No. 44:18 PM

    Garuda Air

    Yes - Their mascot is the Phoenix, engulfed in flames. There motto, "We always rise from the ashes."

  7. Lucky Red7:27 AM

    Wait, you mean nudity is not the norm when flying here in the states? God, that explains so much. I really need to move back to France.


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