Saturday, January 26, 2008


"The secret ingredient is mayonnaise," he said.
"Holy Christ! Why??" I cringed in return.

My newly-acquainted roommate dumped the dollop of white sandwich spread into the mix and started to stir with simple rhythm. The lumpy oily mayo dissolved smoothly into the sticky protein suspension of the egg yolks, as the whisk scuffed-scuffed-scuffed the bottom of the bowl.

The pan was hot and slick with sausage grease. The egg batter bubbled and sizzled as the globular proteins quickly broke down. Little nibblets of crispy sausage bits pocked the smooth gelatinous egg skin.

Breakfast was on.

So, mayonnaise or no, the meal was great. The sausage was good. The eggs were just fine.

Funny though, I'd never considered adding mayo to my scramble, but apparently it was his family recipe. My family's recipe was more simple; a little milk with a dash of salt and pepper.

I mean, it's just scrambled eggs. It's about as simple as food gets. However, everyone seems to have their own way about it.

Overdone, underdone, fluffy, sticky, Tabasco, ketchup, basil, cream...

I like mine on the done-side, a little black pepper and a shot of Frank's Redhot. I'll also take some cheese on top if you've got it. Although if you make them for me, I'll eat them your way...


  1. Eggs, huh?

    Unfertilized, please. Thanks.

  2. Anonymous8:44 PM

    Over a week off and you tell us about eggs?

  3. You know, maybe you need a little break...

  4. Is this a metaphor we aren't getting?

  5. the other anonymous7:34 PM

    Eggs aways are a good first food after a lot of pucking. Is that where the idea of eggs came from? Personally I like them fertilized. They are extra yellow and tasty that way. Yup... organic, fertilized. Fred, I think you are flattering Mr. G&T by thinking this is a metaphor.

  6. Now im hungry dammnit!! Give me some pancakes too.

  7. The inspiration for this little ditty was a pair of scrambled egg, cheese and kielbasa breakfast tacos I ate for breakfast Saturday morning...

  8. Anonymous4:25 PM

    Who the hell made you eggs with mayo?


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