Thursday, September 06, 2007

Constant State of Want

Long, black and hard, I have sought it out with a persistence akin to lust. It is perfect in every way. I have sought it out on the street, behind closed doors and exhaustively on the Internet.

I gaze at pictures of it, and troll Craigslist for it everyday. I have stood, staring at it in the window from the sidewalk. I fantasize about gripping it in my hand, feeling its weight, and twisting it gently into the smooth tight socket for the first time, until I hear the tell-tale click.

Obviously, I'm talking about the Canon 100mm EF f2.8 USM Macro lens, and I have placed my order. By the time most of you read this on Friday, it will have been shipped. Now the hard part begins. Now I must wait, refreshing frequently the UPS tracking page. Soon it will be here. Soon it will be mine.

Do not, however, be mistaken. This will not be the slaking of my material thirst. Material goods rarely satisfy completely, they only leave you wanting more. Certainly, I choose wisely, and research my acquisitions beyond all reasonable degree. (Our pre-purchase thoroughness having recently disturbed the seller of my wife's new car...)

But I digress, as so often I do.

The lens is on its way. Finally, but now I want something else. I want this:

Yes, a grill. Weber. Charcoal. Gas ignition.

It's called the Weber performer, and it will be mine, which may sound odd coming from a guy with four grills. But really, it makes sense. First, the main grill is gas. The second grill is really a smoker. the third is a portable propane camping grill. The fourth is a Brinkman charcoal grill that I inherited when I bought the house, and it sucks ass. Truly, it is a monumental piece of shit, and it needs to go.

Besides the fact that Weber makes the best charcoal grills anywhere, it also comes with this optional accessory:

Which I need to make things like this:

(I must always be mindful toward next years BBQ contest...) Want...


  1. You need something with on offset smoker / fire box.

  2. Grill Horder6:46 AM

    You need a grill for every different beast you cook.

  3. That grill just made me orgasm all over myself.

    Weber makes the best grills -- gas or charcoal -- period. Gas ignition on a charcoal grill?! That's fucking genius right there. No more chimney starter!!

  4. Wow... the grill portion of the post just about made me cry...

    That was beautiful.

  5. I'm tempted to replace my old, reliable charcoal-only Weber with that spiffy one you want just to make you weep with jealousy. Particularly since I still haven't bought a gas grill.

  6. Ooo, cool stuff. I wish I had a really good camera.
    Then I might graduate to lusting after a lens.

  7. F: You don't need jealousy to make me weep. I'm a bitch. soap commercials make be cry.

    J: Lens lust is infectious

  8. You are a scary combination of my dad (who loves cameras) and my brother-in-law (who loves grills).

    But be honest now-- who is left cleaning the grill when you're done using it?

  9. I have always owned a Weber gas grill. Weber makes grills that never die or break. My current has lasted longer than my wife of 15 years. I abuse my grill and it just wants more meat. The Weber grill's appetite is insatiable.

  10. H: Clean the grill?? and lose all of that deep-char flavor??

  11. Ewww. Remind me to eat *out* with you guys next time we visit you in Portland :-P

  12. Ryan, I use what you said about your weber grill to describe my wife all the time.


Be compelling.

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