Sunday, August 05, 2007

Second Annual

Well, it's been two years now, or at least, almost two years. Next week will be the second anniverasry of this godforsaken shit-stack of a blog.

Ya, fine, I'll hand out sone meaningless tokens of validation to the 2 or 3 morons that waste their time with me each day. I mean, obviously, Dr. Brian will get some recognition for being the jack-ass-in-chief, and Carl with get props for being a pampas fop. The rest of yo will get moinor nods in varying degrees, but really, propbably more than you collectively deserve.

I don't really plan to put much time into it.

I may just hand out a prze to myself for blogger of the year and say "fuck it all" to the rest.

Look, yesterday, the missus and I sind documents that effectively paid off two mortgage-sized student loan debts, and we celebrated tonight with Fred and Oosje by drinking something like two-dozen gallons of champagne tonight. And no, it didn't come from Champagne, France, so it was just some fizzy bubbly. So, fuckoff. It was, however, well fermented, and now, I'm feeling a bit surly.

Also, in th last two days I have doen a bit of filing, and in the process have read and reviewed every photograph and document that we have in our filing boxes.

This is what I've come to realize.

Tom and Brian used to have more hair.

I used to be less fat

Carl has looked the same for the last 12 years

I was lucky to get into, much less out of, law school

My wife has had a lot of different hairstyles

I have had the same doodling/cartoonstyle for about two decades

I have also had the very same writing style for nearly as long

I actually started blogging in much the same way back in 1994, and not much has changed since.

I was lazy in college

I'm going to go smoke a cigar. If you haven't filled out the poll down and to the right, go do it. If your name is Mitch, I found photos today of the festival of meat. If your nameis Carl, I found photos today of your oldest about hte same age as my current. If you are Evelyn, I found a pictureof you standing in front of a large boat. Hoewever, most importantly, if you are an ex girlfriend of mine, I very likely came accross a photo of you or your sister in your bra. Sorry, but thanks!

I'm tired. I shouldn't have drank. fuck.


  1. Jesus christ whos been learnin you to speel?

  2. ...mmmm... festival of meat... Good times...
    Though, let me know when you find the "festival of exgirlfriends" photo file.
    I'll reckon that would produce some comments in response!

  3. Anonymous9:31 AM

    Whoa. Drunken blogging. But congrats on the loan thingy. Good job.

  4. yeah, I don't appreciate the call at 2am saying that you love me either.

  5. Sorry, Brian. I misdialed.

  6. Hmmm... I probably should have just gone to sleep

  7. Oh, and yes, I know that Pompous is spelled P-o-m-p-o-u-s. Thanks to everyone who emailed me about that...

  8. Things I have come to realize:

    -you cheated your way through college
    -your writing style has always sucked
    -you have been gay since 1992
    -I have video of you naked to prove it
    -I can buy new hair
    -I have pictures of your mom


  9. ...1991, but who's counting?

  10. I thought you did mean pampas - like the grass

    Oh well

  11. Someone crack open the Tangueray!

    Or whatever passes for good gin. :)

  12. Why does Dr. Brian have pictures of your mother and what has he been doing while looking at them?

  13. OMG Fred, I really don't want to know...

  14. BS - i thought of you recently when at a sex shop and saw penis shaped Mac and Cheese - just thought I would share and I'm not even drunk.

    Big Bri - that big ship I'm infront of is the USS Seaman - yuuummmy sailors........can I get an AMEN!!!!

    Has to be my favorite blog ever!!! Please frame it for all to see!

  15. Is there any doubt?5:42 AM

    I just took a wicked large dump. I mean it was HUGE. One of those above the waterline, bowl filling, three flushers that makes you proud to be a man.

    You know the type. The type that on the first flush you have that moment of anticipation where you think the toilet might overflow and sent shit laden water all over the place.

    Oh god. And it stank to hell. It brought tears to my eyes. I was not sure if I was crying out of pride or the smell. Either way, it was amazing.

    There is less fecal matter in the Ganges.

    Best of all, it was in a public stall.

    So I guess I know how you felt when you posted that blog.

    After I was all done, I walked out in the bright sunny Florida skies, into the sound of happy music, and thought to myself, "This place really is magical." My guess is after you were done, you passed out in a pool of your own vomit.

  16. Anonymous9:14 AM

    The drink on you blog banner looks refreshing. I want one just like it. Congrats on 2 years of blogging. So far, yours looks much more interesting than mine and I've been at it for about 2 yrs, too.

  17. hmmm... gald to see Carl is back. Now, if we could just coax Leah back into discussing her uterus...

  18. I'm with Lisa. I didn't read it as "pompous" at all!

  19. Im with Helly

    I didn't read it


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