Sunday, June 24, 2007

A- Hoy! (amended)

I'm really starting to hate pirates. More specifically, I'm getting weary of the waxing trend to dress up and talk like a pirate. I'm done with the pirate jokes. I need no more pirate movies.

It's not fun anymore. It's not funny.

I mean, sure, maybe it was funny that one time 15 years ago when that one guy at that one frat party said, "Argghh... shiver mee member." But really, that was sooo last century.

Oh, and seriously, does every pirate these days have to look like Johnny Depp? I mean, have some originality. It's been done.

Look, if you feel like you need to adorn yourself in the affects of a marauding hooligan to have a good time at a party, it's just fine. I don't mind. Just, for once, take a risk and be something else.

For instance, be a Mongol, a Zulu or a Viking. Those costumes would be easy, and chicks dig them!

Better yet, be a Visigoth! Hell ya! When was the last time you went to a wicked Visigoth party?? You know, those guys sacked Rome!

Pirates are a bunch of mascara-wearing scurvied pussies. Visigoths, man, that's where it's at!


Check out the cool costumes!!


  1. Someone has booty envy........

  2. whats a visigoth??

  3. Look, I'm sorry you can't pull off the smokin hot Captain Jack Sparrow visage, but in reality he's an atypical pirate only because he talked and swaggered like Keith Richards!

    I'm with you on the Visogoths. How about Mongolians too? That shit is hot right there.

  4. Let me say I am all in favor of Visigoths (or vandals for that matter - no, not the Orange County punk band). No, the germanic tribes attacking Rome in the early 400's.

    There was another germanic group, the Goths (no, not the folks wearing all black, smoking clove cigarettes and painting their nails). The western based goths were Visigoths, and the eastern based goths were Ostrogoths.

    The Visigoths were basically fighting the romans in the 300's. There was a series of truces, wars, infighting, etc. They were very successful and ended up managing a large portion of Western Europe.

    Anyway - yes, they have a much cooler story than walking the plank and burying treasure (neither one of which really happened all that often).

    Thus endeth the History Channel discussion.

  5. They're too tiny to see the costumes. And, if those are Visigoths, I think they would kick your ass for calling their battle garb "outfits."

  6. Thank you Mitch for my education in goths

    and I agree with Fred - maybe "ensemble" would suffice

  7. There's a 10'x15' Jolly Roger on a pole rising up from the chimney on my house. Kiddos run around singing "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" and they'll be teaching The Monkey before too long.


Be compelling.

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