Monday, July 10, 2006

Ahoy There

Seriously what's with all the pirates these days? Everyone is throwing pirate parties and wearing pirate costumes. There are pirate jokes and pirate movies. Everyone is growling and rolling their RRRRssss....
OK, it was clever and a little punk rock, like, two years ago. Now, you can buy pirate clothes at Target. Joke's over, matey. It's time to walk the plank.


  1. Yeah.. ask people to turn away from the pirate life and post a picture like that. When the girls in my office see that picture, our office "dress like a pirate day" is going to change from every Sept. 19th, to every Thursday.

  2. mmmm... dress like a pirate day... I like it.

    I definitely object to the mixed messages -- Hot woman in fishnet, somehow equals something bad to you.

    Must be your fascination with Carl's meat. (Not that there's anything wrong with that).

  3. Anonymous12:20 PM

    Now wait a second here. Pirate jokes never get old. Let's not mix legitimate humor in with the lame trend of everyone thinking they can be cool by dressing like Johnny Depp.

  4. Cap'n Stickybeard1:06 PM

    AAARRR! Lift the skin up, and put into the bunt the slack of the clews (not too taut), the leech and foot-rope, and body of the sail; being careful not to let it get forward under or hang down abaft. Then haul your bunt well up on the yard, smoothing the skin and bringing it down well abaft, and make fast the bunt gasket round the mast, and the jigger, if there be one, to the tie.

  5. That was the best comment ever.

  6. Screw Pirates, did you see that guys eye pop out on Deadwood?
    I wonder if pirates used to say "cock sucker" that much back in the day.

  7. Anonymous2:41 PM

    They didn't say it. They just did it.

  8. anne bonney5:11 PM

    That's no pirate you have there! That is either a very confused candy stripper or a serving wench. You can bet she lost that eye claiming to be a pirate and running afoul of the real thing.

  9. I think she would be hotter if she had a hacked off stump of an arm.

  10. Purple Beard the Gay Pirate3:18 PM

    Female pirates? I think not. Argh! Wenches and whores the lot of 'em.

  11. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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    An 1836 drawing of Ching ShihChing Shih (1785-1844), (also referred to as Madame Ching, Hsi Kai, Shih Yang, Kai Ching Yih, or Ching Yih Saou/Ching Yih Saoa/Cheng I Sao/Zheng Yi Sao [ hanyu pinyin of 鄭一嫂 or 石香姑]) first became known as a Chinese pirate called Shih Shiang Gu (Shi Xianggu in hanyu pinyin). Shih Shiang Gu was a prostitute before she married in 1801 to one Cheng I (Zheng Yi) who commanded a pirate fleet. The couple fought in a Vietnamese rebellion on the side of the Tay-son. They adopted a son named Chang Pao (Zhang Bao). By the time her husband died in a gale in 1807, he had united a pirate coalition numbering 400 ships and over 70,000 sailors. Ching Shih eventually commanded 2,000 ships, and is considered by some to be the most successful pirate in history.

    A master of manipulation, Cheng I Sao (lit. wife of Older Brother Cheng I), now also known as Ching Shih (or Cheng Shih, lit. woman of the Cheng family), took over the fleet after some political maneuvering. She shortly thereafter fell into an affair with her adopted son, Cheung Po Tsai, having already made him her lieutenant, and married him, cementing the family's hold on the fleet.

    She developed a code of laws that were strictly enforced. Commands were not to be given by anyone except the leaders of the fleet. That was considered a capital offense along with disobeying orders. If a village regularly helped the pirates, it was a capital offense to steal from them. It was a capital offense to steal from the treasury. Raping female captives was a capital offense. Even if there was fornication with a female captive at her supposed consent, the sailor was beheaded and the female cast overboard with a weight tied to her legs. If a sailor was absent without leave, or deserted and was caught, one of his ears was cut off and he was shown off through the squadron as an example.

    Her fleet committed many varying kinds of piracy, from the traditional weak merchant ships, to sacking and pillaging villages inland along rivers. The government tried to destroy the pirates in a series of battles in January 1808, however all they managed to do was to give the pirates even more ships for the fleet. The damage was great enough that the Government had to utilize private fishing vessels. The real threat came from other pirates, and a rival called O-po-tae forced Ching Shih's fleet to retreat. Because of his worry about the revenge that could be exacted on him, O-po-tae sought a pardon for his men from the government and it was granted. Ching Shih also sought pardon for her fleet in 1810, now that the government could concentrate on her men and ships, and received it. Chang Pao spent the rest of his life in a comfortable government position, while Ching Shih died at the age of 60 in 1844, running a brothel and gambling house in Guangzhou.


Be compelling.

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