Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Duct Tape

I have a wart. It is on the base knuckle of my right index finger. It has been there before. For years, in fact.



It first emerged when I was about 11 or 12. It was flat and unobtrussive. It caused little discomfort,and often I would ignore its existence.



Then, in my latee teen years, I became a little obsessed with it. I would pick at it. I would clip at it. I would burn it.

All of these things, of course, hurt like a motherfucker. And so, sometime in college, I actually medicated it. Compound W, to be precise, but it did not work. After several attempts, I was left essentially with a black and bloody scab with a fresh wart growing happily underneath.

bikini

And then, one day, about three years ago, it shriveled up and disappeared.

"That was that," I thought. Still, it seemed a little odd. it was a part of me, or at least, it had become so, but then it simply receeded and vanished. It would be like having one of your toes pack up and move out. It simply was a bit odd.

although, it was kinda nice.

bikini

Well, now, it's back. Having been all-but-forgotten, it has reemerged, back in its old spot, back to its old size. And the skin around it is unhappy, cracked and stinging a wee bit. Not bad, mind you, just enough to be irritating.

Something has to be done. I've been eyeing the the nail clippers and lime juice...

suspender-royal-blue-g-string-bikini-1

Rumor has it, though, that the glue on the business side of duct tape bears anti-wart medicinal qualitites. Sooo, duct tape it will be. Couldn't hurt, I suppose, to wear a small spot of tape on my knuckle for a few days.

(And now, Dr. B will make a snarky comment about the thing that used to be on my nose...)

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:36 AM

    No one here believes me when I say your blog is about warts. And to the extent they do, they want to know if you got warts from one of the whores in the photos.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:13 AM

    Were there words in the last post? For some reason my wart is larger now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sorry...were you typing?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Those pictures are proof positive that the theory of gravity should be re-examined.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah, I thought I saw some text in there somewhere... but I missed it.

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  6. what? no one cares about my wart??

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous2:41 PM

    If you would have stoped picking your nose, that thing wouldn't have been able to jump to your finger.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous2:41 PM

    If you would have stoped picking your nose, that thing wouldn't have been able to jump to your finger.

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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