2:00 Confussion

The fabulous Vietnamese lunch was working its way through my GI tract, triggering whatever process typically gets triggered after lunch. About one hour had passed. It was time to take a walk down the hall.

I have followed this pattern enough times, thus far, that after five months, our semi-witty and mostly-wicked receptionist has figured it out. If it's two o'clock, and I'm walking down the hall, she knows exactly where I am going.

Which is fortunate, as today, there were client-like folks gathered about in the foyer, and I was not at liberty to announce my short-term excretory intentions.

As I passed the front desk, though, I discovered an attractive young woman in ironic hipster military wear standing there. She was quite tall and thin. Her lustrous curly hair obscuring the fine porcelain features of her face. Her tight jeans accentuated all of the important curves...

I walked out the door and down the hall. A few minutes later, and about five pounds lighter, I returned to the office. The young woman was still standing there talking to her attorney, but something was odd. It was her voice. It was very deep.

Deep, like Dennis Haysbert deep. It didn't fit. She was kinda hot, but sounded like a dude, a scary sounding dude.

I sent an electronic sticky note to the front desk, saying: "hey man, is that another tranny out there?"

(We've seen a few...)

"Why," came the response, "do you want some?"

(You'd think I'd get more respect...)

"No. Not this time. It's just that the voice doesn't match the rest of the package. She must be a tranny, right? A pretty good one?"

"Uh, no man," replied the surly receptionist, "He's a dude."

"Right," I said, " I get that, but he looks like a chick, right?"

"No, dude, he's all dude."

"But I though he was a hot chick. Does that make me gay?"

Well, you can guess what her response was. Anyway, apparently, I didn't really get a good look, and you know these crazy metrosexual guys these days... Well, hell, how about those Cowboys, huh? And the Rockies sweeping the National League...

And, wow, I really like to look at female boobs on women. Really. Hurray for boobs...

Ya, I'm gonna go turn some bolts on my car now. Chop some wood. Maybe I'll punch something too.