Thursday, November 29, 2007


Mustard is, in all reality, the best condiment.

Ketchup is retarded, and salsa? Well, salsa is mostly just a dip. Mayonnaise is OK, but really has little-to-no flavor.

Is butter a condiment? I don't think so.

No, really, mustard is the best condiment. Yellow. Brown. Hot. Honey. Dijon. It's good on burgers, sandwiches, sausages, fries and dogs. It adds depth to chili, and a zing to salad dressing.

The more I think about it, the more I know I'm right.

Fine, look, Tabasco is good too. Damn good, even on things where mustard can't go, like pizza and wings, but in the end, Tabasco is too much, too overpowering with peppery goodness.

Mustard is smooth, heated with suppressed rage. It is flexible. It is reliable.

Mustard is the best condiment, and with that, I can finally shut down the computer and go to bed.


  1. Anonymous8:06 AM

    Mustard is my fav, too!

  2. Since you were up at 1:11am singing the praises of Mustard, should we add it on to the favorite lubricant list as well? just sayin...

  3. ketchup rules10:09 AM

    Just ewwwww

    To mustard and Dr B's comment

  4. [Hot dog=penis joke]

  5. Anonymous10:48 AM

    Gin and tonic lounge = penis jokes

  6. mmm... a hot dog sounds good. I'm getting hungry.

  7. I don't come back to this blog for a few days and it's all about Brian's penis - glad to see some things don't change.

  8. mayonaise11:07 AM

    I'm zesty and creamy.


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