Saturday, August 27, 2005

Cage Match!

Bobby Brown v. An Ostrich = Ostrich wins
Ostrich v. Dick Cheney = Ostrich
Ostrich v. Russel Crow = Russel Crowe
Russel Crowe v. a Goat = Russel Crowe
Russel Crowe v. a Cheetah = Cheetah wins
Cheetah v. Dick Clark = Cheetah
Cheetah v. Lance Armstrong = Cheetah
Cheetah v. Mick Jagger = Cheetah
Cheetah v. Bruce Lee = Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee v. A Bear = Bear
Bear v. Steve McQueen = Steve McQueen
Steve McQueen v. Loch Ness Monster = Nessie
Nessie v. Santa Clause = Draw
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3 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:41 PM

    Steve McQueen could totally kick Nessie's ass! (Does Nessie have an ass?)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brian's Subconscious8:39 PM

    Was Lance Armstrong's blood doping figured into this? Surely that would have given him an edge against Cheetah. I mean, honestly, a Cheetah can only maintain top speeds for a few hundred yards at best! Please arrange another Cheetah v. Lance Armstrong cage match so these results can be verified!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mr. Gin and Tonic11:14 PM

    The hypothetical match would be held in a regulation fighting pit. Cheetah having large teeth and claws, Lance having spandex, the result, I thought, was obvious.

    ReplyDelete

Be compelling.

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