Saturday, August 27, 2005

Cage Match!

Bobby Brown v. An Ostrich = Ostrich wins
Ostrich v. Dick Cheney = Ostrich
Ostrich v. Russel Crow = Russel Crowe
Russel Crowe v. a Goat = Russel Crowe
Russel Crowe v. a Cheetah = Cheetah wins
Cheetah v. Dick Clark = Cheetah
Cheetah v. Lance Armstrong = Cheetah
Cheetah v. Mick Jagger = Cheetah
Cheetah v. Bruce Lee = Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee v. A Bear = Bear
Bear v. Steve McQueen = Steve McQueen
Steve McQueen v. Loch Ness Monster = Nessie
Nessie v. Santa Clause = Draw


  1. Anonymous1:41 PM

    Steve McQueen could totally kick Nessie's ass! (Does Nessie have an ass?)

  2. Was Lance Armstrong's blood doping figured into this? Surely that would have given him an edge against Cheetah. I mean, honestly, a Cheetah can only maintain top speeds for a few hundred yards at best! Please arrange another Cheetah v. Lance Armstrong cage match so these results can be verified!

  3. The hypothetical match would be held in a regulation fighting pit. Cheetah having large teeth and claws, Lance having spandex, the result, I thought, was obvious.


Be compelling.

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