Run for the Border

I think I might have a problem. I think we may have to postpone those piano lessons for something, uh, a little more, um, remedial...

I first immigrated to Oregon back in August, 1994. Having unshipped my cargo, I was eager to explore my new home. In many ways, Salem, the state capitol, was representative of the entire state, and I was shocked to learn two things. First, I was dismayed to discover that the Del Taco fast food empire had not ventured north of the California border. This meant that I had to adjust to life without Del Combo Burritos or Chicken Soft Tacos. While perhaps a boon to my rather fragile physical health, it was a blow to my psyche.

Second, there didn't seem to be any non-Caucasians here.

Ultimately, that second discovery proved to be untrue. However, to be sure, there aren't many. Gas stations are operated by Caucasians. 7-11 stores are run by Caucasians. During a trip to the mall, the only language you will hear is English.

The result of living here is that the monkey will be raised in a somewhat homogeneous culture, and may not have the benefit of multi-cultural diversity that some other larger urban centers have to offer.

fortunately, since 1994, at least one of these two phenomena has been addressed. In the last couple of years, a small handful of Del Taco restaurants have begun to spring up across the region. Unfortunately, here on the southside of Portland, the closest Del Taco is across the Columbia River in Vancouver, Washington.

Yes, I must cross state lines to find me a decent chicken soft taco, which is exactly what the monkey and I did today.

Mama lie sleeping in a Nyquil and Claratin-induced mid-afternoon nap (coma). I was hungry and had time to burn. So, I decided to take the tot for a trek and introduce her to the wonder that is the Del Combo Burrito!

Our senses saturated by Sirius satellite stations, we blazed a trail north on I-5. We dashed through down town, past the twin hypodermic towers of the convention center. We Journeyed past Jantzen Beach.

As we approached the Interstate Bridge that would carry us over the river and across the invisible state line, which ran down the middle, my mind wandered back to Professor Turner and discussions of the Mann Act... We were just going for food, so everything was fine.

We finally arrived, and sat down for a fine feast of tacos, burritos and french fries. As the Monkey mashed salty fries into her mouth, her attention was diverted to something on the other side of the glass door to her left. I looked over, and standing there was a very cute African American girl with a big smile and poofy pigtails. The little girl waived hello. My daughter then pointed back, right at the little girl, and with a loud voice said, "Doggy!"

Now, I know you haven't been exposed to many minorities, but come on baby, "Doggy?" Well, so much for piano lessons, and forget ballet. First class on the list is going to be a bit of sensitivity training....

Reading for comprehension:

1) What is Brian's usual Del Taco Order?
2) Brian avoided using the phrase "hurried through the hood" to describe his north-bound route through NE Portland, why was this?
3) Brian made reference to the Mann Act. Was this inappropriate because it was an inside law joke that will exclude the non-lawyer readers, or was it more inappropriate because his daughter was in the car?