I will officially officiate my third wedding on Saturday. I have spent the evening tweaking and tampering with my basic outline. Each couple, and therefore each wedding, is unique. While this wedding won't involve a buddhist chicken lamp or pre-existing children, it will involve 300 guests, a few horses, and more than a few cowboy hats.
With heterosexual marriages having a less-than-50% chance of survival, and homosexual marriages having less than a 0% chance of even getting started, one has to wonder how long marriage will last as a viable institution.
Well, this legally-ordained minister, for one, is doing his part to perpetuate the tradition.
I offered to wear a white buckskin suit with fringe on Saturday, but the bride declined my offer.
Reading for comprehension:
1. Are you looking to get hitched?
2. I don't charge any fee. (At least not yet...)
3. I do make up my fee by selling faith-healings for five bucks after the service though...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Placing your hands on the bride's genitals is not faith healing. If you are collecting a fee for it, awesome.
ReplyDeleteTouching the bride before the ceremony will bless the genitals to produce many offspring.
ReplyDeleteAre Joseph Smith and Brian Smith related?
ReplyDeleteclosely, I assume
ReplyDeleteYes, I have the magic glasses to read the gold tablets. Stay off my planet!!
ReplyDeleteI appologize to all LDS that I may have offended.
ReplyDeleteAs long as we're appologizing, I'd like to appologize once again to the Jews.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
1) Yes - or become a nun or get a pet - or become the pet of a nun- still thinking about it.
ReplyDelete2) I heard from Tom that there are other services you charge for.......not that there is anything wrong with that.
3) Can I pay in nickels and get a little dance?
Pussy! I marry hundreds of couples at one time
ReplyDeleteI like whores.
ReplyDelete