The Simple Secret to a Happy Life

I know for a fact that many of you regular readers, you drunkin ramblers, you have gotten a bit carried away with your Facebook accounts.

To those of you who have not Yet joined the herd, let me say, "Don't." For the love of god, do not get sucked in!! It is manic. It is insidious. It is obsessive. You'd do better to just steer clear.

I, unfortunately, did not heed my own advice, and now have regular near-daily contact and updates with people I've otherwise been able to avoid for nearly 20 years. Some longer. Some less long.

A few, however, truth be told, have been a pleasure to reconnect with.

Which, finally, gets me to my point.

All of this social re-connecting business has caused me to stop and ponder just a bit. Why did these acquaintances fall away? Why did friendships end? Why did I move further and further away from folks I cared about?

Well, mostly, it comes down to one simple thing. I used to be a total fucking dick.

Really. I know what your thinking: "Mr. G and T, how can that be? You're so fucking charming, how could you have ever been a king-sized ass hole?"

Well, it's true. I was. I was an arrogant fascist prick. Insufferable, really. If I could go back in time, I would probably just find myself and punch myself in the head.

Growing up helped, I suppose. So did leaving the church.

But the true sense of enlightenment came when I arrived in Salem. It was the freshest of starts, and I made the most of it.

And the secret? The key that made me the adorable social magnet I am today?

Simple. Don't be a dick.

And really, I think that's what Jesus tried to say all those many years ago...

Don't be a dick.

So far, it seems to be working. Sure, it's not a perfect system, subject as it is to my many human foibles. But over all, in general, the basic practice of not-being-a-dick seems to be the right way to go.