Monday, June 26, 2006


Tragedy struck over the weekend. My golden mystery snail has died. I hadn't ever seen the true face of a snail until he (or she) joined the marine menagerie in my office tank. You could say that it was almost cute.

It was a brave and mighty little snail, and quite a voracious eater. Unfortunately, the new tank didn't offer the same volume of algae that the old tank offered. I tried to feed it algae pellets, but it simply never got the hang of it.

He was closed up in his shell for about a week, which isn't peculiar. However, upon staggering into my office this afternoon, I discovered that his meat was out of his shell, and was entangled in one of the fake plastic aquarium plants.

I called time of death: 3:07 pm, June 26, 2006.

Reading for comprehension:
1. Are snails gender-specific?
2. What is wrong with the French for them to believe that snails are food??
3. Have you ever gotten your own meat stuck in a fake plastic plant?


  1. Didn't you tube and ship?

  2. Actually, that's "tube and tuck."

  3. No, it's tube and ship - Brian's synopsis of what I do in work - just tube them and ship them somewhere else....

  4. I got my meat stuck in a plastic girl once. No, it wasnt a fleshlight or blow-up doll. She was just dingy....and it never really got stuck. Ok, I'll shut up and go now.

  5. So basically you starved this thing to death. Nice. I'm calling PETA. Ok, actually, I'm not. I could give a rat's ass about a freaking snail. Nice title though. Ass page clever, that one was.

  6. Hey - Let's all appreciate that Leah's post didn't somehow triangulate her pregnancy into the snail's death.

    .... You don't think that Leah's pregnancy killed the snail, do you?!

  7. This was the best blog I have ever read about a snail with a penis innuendo. Really - it ranks high in Blog weekly - two gold snails - I mean stars.

  8. Anonymous7:17 PM

    I'm starting to see why you all keep Leah around. Making fun of her never gets old.


Be compelling.

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